[Essay] Essay for IELTS

[quore5446]

Hi, thank you for accepting me in this forum.
Can you help me with this essay? Is it correct? Thanks in advance.

[FONT=&quot]Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Nowadays, people have their own preferences about how to travel. Some people prefer to travel alone, others prefer to travel in groups with a tour guide. In my opinion, a group led by a tour guide is the best way to travel for several reasons.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]First, a tour guide will let people know about the places they will visit and show the best locations. Tour guides are specially trained about the local history and significance of all the places in the region. Most of the time, people travelling alone do not know the places to visit and so waste a lot of time trying to find something valuable to see. In addition, tour guides know things about a certain place that are not generally mentioned in books or brochures. Thus, guided tours are the best way in terms of sightseeing in a short time.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Secondly, there are some facilities for having a group trip. Convenient and comfortable services are acquired especially in a group. A tour leader will manage and arrange all kind of services and accommodations for you. For example, the problem of finding or reserving a hotel will not happen if you travel with a tour group. A tour company could contact with a hotel and arrange everything effectively. Therefore, travelling with a group can provide a flourish and comfortable experience rather than travelling alone.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]In conclusion, there are many benefits of travelling with a guide which can bring great experience and less worrying during a trip rather than travelling alone. However, there are some drawbacks behind this such as an expensive trip or a less flexible schedule. Therefore, you may have to consider which travelling style that you are more desirable and comfortable with.[/FONT]

 

[teechar]

Hi there, and welcome to the forum.

Your essay mainly focuses on the guide aspect. If you want better marks, you should also discuss the aspect of being in a group (with other fellow travellers). Perhaps you can write one body paragraph about that. Let us know if you want to revise your essay, or if you'd like us to take at it as it stands.

 

[quore5446]

Hi thank you for your answer. I think I prefer to leave it as it is. Thanks in advance for the revision.

 

[teechar]

Nowadays, people have their own preferences about how to travel. Some people prefer to travel alone, whereas others prefer to travel in groups with a tour guide. In my opinion, a group led by a tour guide is the best way to travel for several reasons.

First, a tour guide will let people know about the places they will visit and show them the most interesting sites. [STRIKE] best locations. [/STRIKE] Tour guides are specially trained and have extensive knowledge about the local history and significance of all the places in the region. Most of the time, people travelling alone do not know the places to visit and so waste a lot of time trying to find something [STRIKE] valuable [/STRIKE] interesting or notable to see. In addition, tour guides know things about a certain place that are not generally mentioned in books or brochures. Thus, guided tours are the best way in terms of sightseeing for tourists. [STRIKE] in a short time. [/STRIKE]

The second paragraph is a bit clumsy. Start with a concise (direct and to the point) topic sentence, and try to develop the idea gradually and give more than one example. Post below.

 

[Tarheel]

Traveling in [a] group with a tour guide is the best way to travel.

Maybe. Maybe not. It's a personal preference.

Do they let you choose your subject?

 

[Tarheel]

In conclusion, ....

The reader can clearly see it's the last paragraph. Are you required use a certain number of words?