I rented a small studio to stay in

[keannu]

[FONT=&#48148]In Korea, renting a home appliance is very rare. I don't have such experience either, so I should explain my experience with a machine. I visited Hawaii during a vacation, I rented a small studio to stay in. It had a microwave oven combined with a hood. It was the first time for me to use it and I tried to cook some pan steak in the kitchen.[/FONT]

Are the underlined correct?

 

[Tarheel]

[FONT=&#48148]It was the first time for me to use it, and I tried to cook some pan steak in the kitchen.[/FONT]

If memory serves, you did in fact do some cooking, so "tried" doesn't work there. (I'm not sure what the second "it" refers to.)

 

[Tarheel]

In Korea, renting a home appliance is very rare.

Compared to?

 

[emsr2d2]

You didn't really rent a microwave. You rented a studio that happened to have a microwave.

 

[emsr2d2]

There's a lot of redundancy in your writing. Effectively, in this piece, all you're saying is "I rented a small studio in Hawaii. It had a microwave oven and hood. I'd never used one before but I had a go at making pan steak".

Look how few words I needed to express the same thing.

 

[Tarheel]

Two things. One, I think you mean a studio apartment. Two, I have never heard of a microwave with a hood before.

 

[keannu]

There's a lot of redundancy in your writing. Effectively, in this piece, all you're saying is "I rented a small studio in Hawaii. It had a microwave oven and hood. I'd never used one before but I had a go at making pan steak".

Look how few words I needed to express the same thing.

The first underlined means that I had some problem when using a home appliance. Is it correct?
This is said if I'm asked to answer a question "Do you have any experience of renting a home appliance"? As I don't have such experience, I'm saying a similar experience. The rest is changed according to your advice.

In Korea, renting a home appliance is very rare. I don't have such experience either, so I should explain my experience with a problem when I used a home appliance.
I visited Hawaii during a vacation, I rented a small studio apartment to stay in. It had a microwave combined with a hood.
I'd never used one before but I had a go at making pan steak in the kitchen.

 

[Tarheel]

As has already been pointed out, you didn't rent a home appliance. You rented a studio apartment. Forget about the first two sentences. Perhaps:

I want to describe my experience of using an appliance I wasn't used to.