Is it clear who does what in those passages?

[99bottles]

OK, to avoid further confusion (my last threads caused some ), I'll give you the passages below and I would like you to tell me (if it is not much to ask) whether I have managed to make it clear to the reader who does what and whether there are any other mistakes I should take care of.

1. She turned around. A woman was staring at her. The unknown woman had long, blonde hair and blue eyes. She (I'm referring to the unknown woman -- is it clear?) was wearing a blue dress.

2. A man came out of the car. John couldn't discern his features, as he was wearing a mask. He was holding a gun. (All he so far are referring to the man, not John -- is it clear?) The unknown man turned around and... (OK, the rest of the text is irrelevant.)

 

[emsr2d2]

1. It's pretty clear that you're talking about the unknown woman, simply by virtue of the fact that the clothing information is close to the other physical information about her. However, it would be clearer (and more natural) to say "The unknown woman had long, blonde hair and blue eyes, and was wearing a blue dress".

2. People don't "come out" of a car. You need "A man got out of the car". It's clear enough that the man who got out of the car is the one wearing a mask. It's not as clear which of them was holding a gun.

 

[99bottles]

1. People don't "come out" of a car. You need "A man got out of the car".

2. It's clear enough that the man who got out of the car is the one wearing a mask. It's not as clear which of them was holding a gun.

1. Since the sentence right before that is A car stopped, should I write it like this: A car stopped and a man got out?

2. Then how about I put the unknown man before was holding a gun and he before turned around?

 

[emsr2d2]

1. Since the sentence right before that is A car stopped, should I write it like this: A car stopped and a man got out?

2. Then how about I put the unknown man before was holding a gun and he before turned around?

1. Yes.
2. How about "The unknown man, holding a gun, turned round"? How about "The unknown man turned round, revealing the gun he was holding"?