letter "showing interest for a flat rent"

[Hamgeva Vage]

Dear all,

I need to send several e-mails showing interest in different flat offers and I need to introduce myself.
Could anyone, check my template letter? Thank you.
Do you think it is correct to describe myself in this kind of letters?

Dear XXXX,

I'm looking for accommodation in XXXX, from June to September, due to an external research stay.
I have seen your ad in wg-gesucht web and I think that your offer is what I am looking for.

I consider myself as a serious and responsible person. I work at the XXXXX university as researcher and teacher.
It will be my second time in XXXX as in 2012 I expend several month doing an internship.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
XXXX

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear all,

I need to send several e-mails showing interest in different flat offers and I need to introduce myself.
Could anyone (no comma here) check my template letter? Thank you.
Do you think it is correct to describe myself in this kind of [STRIKE]letters[/STRIKE] letter?

Dear XXXX,

I'm looking for accommodation in XXXX, from June to September, due to an external research stay.
I will be in [name of town] from June 1st to September 30th 2016 as a researcher and teacher at XXX University and I am currently looking for accommodation to rent.

I have seen your ad in wg-gesucht web and I think that your offer is what I am looking for.
I saw your advert on the XXX website and am interested in renting the house/flat/apartment/room.

I consider myself as a serious and responsible person. [STRIKE]I work at the XXXXX university as researcher and teacher.[/STRIKE]
I can provide references (if required) from people from whom I have previously rented accommodation.

[STRIKE]It will be my second time in XXXX as in 2012 I expend several month doing an internship.[/STRIKE] Unnecessary.

I would be grateful if you would let me know if the house/flat/apartment/room is still available and, if so, what I should do next to secure the accommodation.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours [STRIKE]faithfully[/STRIKE] sincerely,
XXXX

Note my suggested changes above, in red.
If you start your letter with "Dear Sir/Madam", end with "Yours faithfully". If you start with "Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms", end with "Yours sincerely".

 

[Hamgeva Vage]

Thank you very much for your attention emsr2d2! I really appreciate all the suggestions!!!

Best,

 

[emsr2d2]

You're welcome but please note that there is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you" to anyone. Simply use the "Thank" button on a helpful post (as you did).