Morning walk

[hatimhussain]

Hello,
Sir, could you please pinpoint my mistakes in the following piece of writing?

Morning walk in the garden to me is the best activity of the whole day. It is time when there is minimum of pollution as less traffic is plying on the roads which makes less smoke and noise coming out of engines of heavy vehicles around as compared with the later part of the day. During this brief part of the morning time the breeze is usually cool as no heat of sun as yet. The sun though is emerging in the East but still it is not as hot as it will get as the day goes on. The fragrance of beautiful flowers has surrounded the garden which makes the process of inhaling and exhaling for the walkers very enjoyable. Everybody in the garden is busy- Some are doing brisk walk, while others are doing exercise to keep themselves fit. Then there are people who are doing yoga to make their mind and body fit. Everything looks green- green tall trees and lush green grass. Morning time is indeed the best part of the day for those who like to come out of their bed early and go for a walk.

Hatim

 

[emsr2d2]

You have addressed your post to "Sir". Do you really want only the male members of the forum to help you?

 

[hatimhussain]

Sorry, I didn't mean it. Anyone could correct my piece of writing.
Thanks

 

[Tdol]

Morning walk in the garden to me is the best activity of the whole day.

Can you add the missing word and move a couple of words?

 

[hatimhussain]

Dear Tdol,
I am sorry I could not get you as I have already submitted my draft and all I need is that my whole draft is corrected.
thanks

 

[Tdol]

If it is a submission, we cannot help.

 

[hatimhussain]

No, no please do not get me wrong. I have submitted the draft in this forum only. I have not submitted anywhere else. In fact I wrote in only last night and submitted it in the morning in your forum. That's all.

Hatim

 

[emsr2d2]

What are you going to do with it when it's been corrected?

 

[Tarheel]

Let me make some suggestions/corrections. This is the only place where I get paid to do that stuff. Oh wait! I don't get paid.
;-)

 

[hatimhussain]

Dear, emsr2d2
I am going to place on my record and every time I see the draft I will avoid the mistakes corrected by you. That's all.

Hatim

 

[tedmc]

Hello,
[STRIKE]Sir, [/STRIKE] Could you please [STRIKE]pinpoint [/STRIKE] correct my mistakes in the following piece of writing?

A morning walk in the garden to me is the best activity of the whole day. It is the time when there is minimum [STRIKE]of [/STRIKE]pollution as less traffic is plying [STRIKE]on [/STRIKE]the roads, which [STRIKE]makes [/STRIKE] means less smoke and noise coming out of engines of heavy vehicles [STRIKE]around [/STRIKE]as compared [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE]to the later part of the day. During [STRIKE]this brief[/STRIKE] the early part of the morning [STRIKE]time[/STRIKE], the breeze is usually cool as [STRIKE]no heat of[/STRIKE] the sun [STRIKE]as [/STRIKE] has not risen yet. The sun [STRIKE]though[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE][STRIKE]emerging in the East[/STRIKE] begins to rise but still it is not as hot as it will get as the day goes [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] by. The fragrance of beautiful flowers [STRIKE]has surrounded[/STRIKE] pervades the garden, which [STRIKE]makes[/STRIKE][STRIKE] the process of inhaling and exhaling for[/STRIKE] allows the walkers to breath in and enjoy the fresh morning air[STRIKE]very enjoyable[/STRIKE]. Everybody in the garden is busy- some are doing brisk walk, while others are doing exercise to keep themselves fit. Then there are people who are doing yoga to [STRIKE]make [/STRIKE] calm their mind and keep their body fit. Everything looks green- [STRIKE]green[/STRIKE] tall, green trees and lush, green grass. The early morning [STRIKE]time[/STRIKE] period is indeed the best part of the day for those who like to [STRIKE]come out of their bed[/STRIKE] get up early and go for a walk.

Hatim

.

 

[Tarheel]

Ted, Ems told him/her that we would NOT be doing that because we don't do people's homework for them.

 

[Tarheel]

There are a couple of errors in that post -- one of omission and one of commission.

 

[tedmc]

No, no please do not get me wrong. I have submitted the draft in this forum only. I have not submitted anywhere else. In fact I wrote in only last night and submitted it in the morning in your forum. That's all.

Hatim

Tarheel,
He said he "submitted the draft in this forum only" and "not anywhere else". I suppose it is not submitted to a teacher for marking. He is too old to be a student anyway.

 

[hatimhussain]

Dear, tedmc and Tarheel

Thank you very much for correcting my draft. However, I could not understand Tarheel's remark i.e. " omission and commission." May I ask should, I send such drafts to "Editing & Writing" section? Please reply.

 

[emsr2d2]

He is too old to be a student anyway.

:roll: No one is too old to be a student! I'm sure there are plenty of us on this forum, the same age or older than the OP, learning a new language!

 

[Tarheel]

Dear, tedmc and Tarheel

Thank you very much for correcting my draft. However, I could not understand Tarheel's remark i.e. " omission and commission." May I ask should, I send such drafts to "Editing & Writing" section? Please reply.

Error of omission - something that was left out that should have been included.

Error of comission - something that was included that was a mistake or should not have been put in.

(I only scanned it. I might have missed some things.)

 

[emsr2d2]

I assume tedmc looked at the OP's profile and saw "I am 50 years old and I work for a government department". That does not mean he/she is not a student of English.