need analysis

[mohamedsoliman90]

Dear Admission Officer,



Through this Statement letter, I would like to express my interest in applying for the MBA Top-Up at Sunderland university for the winter semester intake on 17 October 2022/2023. I truly believe that my professional and educational background as well as my enthusiasm to learn more in this field make me an ideal candidate for the course.



My name is [personal info removed], 31 years old. I had been working for the banking sector in Egypt for more than 7 years in international banks like HSBC, the national bank of Kuwait, and AUDI bank. Mostly was in consumer banking in the majority. In 2021 I completed a Post Graduate Diploma in Finance, banking, and risk Management from Eslsca business school in Egypt with a GPA of 3.68 and a Bachelor of Commerce degree in the English Language, with Accounting as my major, from Cairo University in 2011. My wish is to become a Successful Financial Professional with advanced expertise in my field through an MBA Degree from an international university located in the UK which just has a city known as the heart of the world Financial Market.





I have selected this course especially because it focuses deeply on financial management and control, strategic management in an international context which I have a particular interest in and which I got high scores previously in my postgraduate diploma finance modules. Furthermore, I am attracted by the excellent reputation of your university as a world-leading-research in business according to the latest research excellence framework.



If I am selected for this master's, I will have the appropriate tools and knowledge to tackle real-world issues within the financial sector or within financial departments of organizations, Besides, Successful completion of this course also will provide me exemptions for 11 exam papers from the Chartered Institute of Management Accountants and be well prepared for a Ph.D. in finance after that, which I also plan to do. So, holding a master's degree from your university will be very beneficial for my future career path, and will help me also to secure employment in finance as well as it will give me a competitive edge in the Egyptian labor market when I return to Egypt. The Degree also will enable me to contribute effectively to social and technical development in my country through my future job.



The Standards of education in Egypt are not great, and this is what made me opt for a 1-year graduate diploma from a French-based university. This is also a major factor for me now in considering studying at your shortlisted university for the year 2021 in the leading category of Times Higher Education.

In addition, prestigious financial institutions and firms in Egypt highly regard professionals who hold degrees from international universities of a high standard, and I am willing to be one of them one day.



I believed that studying in the UK, and particularly in your university, is the most suitable option for me, bearing in mind the reasonable tuition fees, efficient services, and I want to become more familiar with the UK culture, and lifestyle, making friends from different nationalities and backgrounds. And I believe studying in the UK would allow me to do that.



I hope my application will be enough for a favorable response, and I look forward to hearing from you.





Best Regards signature

[personal info removed]

 

[Rover_KE]

Leave only one line space between paragraphs.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

My name is Frank, and I am 31 years old.

A person works for a bank or in the banking sector.

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear Admission Officer, (I'd use either "FAO Admissions Officer" or "Dear + name")

Through this Statement letter, I would like to express my interest in applying for the MBA Top-Up at Sunderland University for the winter semester intake, starting on 17 October 2022. /2023. I truly believe that my professional and educational background, as well as and my enthusiasm to learn more further my education in this field make me an ideal candidate for the course.

My name is [personal info removed] and I am 31 years old. I had have been working for in the banking sector in Egypt for more than 7 years in international banks like HSBC, the National Bank of Kuwait, and AUDI bank Bank Audi. I worked mostly was in consumer banking. in the majority. In 2021, I completed a Postgraduate Diploma in Finance, Banking, and Risk Management from Eslsca ESLSCA Business School in Egypt with a GPA of 3.68 and, in 2011, a Bachelor of Commerce degree in the English Language, with Accounting as my major, from Cairo University. in 2011. My wish goal is to become a successful Financial Professional with advanced expertise in my field through an MBA Degree from an international university located in the UK. which just has a city known as the heart of the world Financial Market.

I have selected this course especially particularly because it focuses deeply on financial management and control, and strategic management in an international context in which I have a particular interest in and in which I got high scores previously scored highly in my postgraduate diploma finance modules. Furthermore, I am attracted by the excellent reputation of your university as a world-leading-research world leader in business research. according to the latest research excellence framework.

If I am selected successful in my application for this Master's, I will have obtain the appropriate tools and knowledge to tackle real-world issues within the financial sector or within financial departments of organizations. Besides, Successful completion of this course also will also provide me exemptions for exempt me from taking 11 exam papers from the Chartered Institute of Management Accountants, and be well prepared prepare me for a Ph.D. in Finance. after that, which I also plan to do. So, holding Obtaining a master's degree from your university will be very beneficial for my future career path, and will help me also to secure employment in finance. as well as It will give me a competitive edge in the Egyptian labor market when I return to Egypt. The degree also will enable me to contribute effectively to social and technical development in my country through my future job employment.

The standard s of education in Egypt are is not great very high, and this is what made me leading me to opt for a 1-year graduate diploma from a French-based university. This is also a major factor for me now in considering in my decision to consider studying at your university, particularly because it was shortlisted for University for the Year in 2021 in the leading category of Times Higher Education.

In addition, Prestigious financial institutions and firms in Egypt highly regard professionals who hold degrees from international universities of a high standard, and I am willing to be one of them one day. The underlined word doesn't work there.

I believed believe that studying in the UK, and particularly in at your university, is the most suitable best option for me, bearing in mind given the reasonable tuition fees and efficient services. (What does the underlined phrase mean?) and I want to become more familiar with the experience UK culture no comma here and lifestyle, making make friends with people from different nationalities and backgrounds. And I believe studying in the UK would allow me to do that.

I hope my application will be enough for a favorable response, and I look forward to hearing from you. I look forward to a favourable response.

Best Regards signature

[personal info removed]

Please see my suggested changes and my comments/questions above. You used "and/also/additionally/furthermore" too many times and each time you used "also", you put it in the wrong place in the sentence.

 

[Tarheel]

In the future, people can read the posts already in this section. Let them help themselves. (My opinion.)

 

[teechar]

What is the deadline for submitting your letter, and why is the title "need analysis"?