Need help with commas.

[Sythik]

Hi, sorry if this is the incorrect place to post this. I have two sentences in which I am unsure of where to place commas.

Hair long and dirty strung over his wrinkled, sun burnt face.
Hair, long and dirty, strung over his wrinkled, sun burnt face.

You could see just one sock, coming from the right shoe, and the left untied, the laces just flapping about.

With the first comma I dont want it to seem like there is suppose to be more than one sock coming from the right shoe so I felt it was right, but not sure. After untied maybe it is suppose to be a semicolon? not sure..

 

[Sythik]

Any help here would be highly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[5jj]

My views on punctuation are not universally accepted, which is why I didn't answer before. However, as nobody else has responded so far, here are my thoughts.

Hair long and dirty strung over his wrinkled, sun- burnt face. X
Hair, long and dirty, strung over his wrinkled, sun-burnt face. :tick:

I don't like 'strung', but I can't think of a better alternative at the moment.

In its present form, the next sentence seems to be saying that the left (side?) of the sock was untied.

You could see just one sock, coming from the right shoe, and the left untied, the laces just flapping about.

If you want to stay close to the original, here is my suggestion:

You could see just one sock coming from the right shoe, and the left shoe untied, the laces just flapping about.

No commas needed between 'sock and 'coming' or between 'shoes' and 'untied.

 

[Sythik]

Thank you for the help.

You could see just one sock coming from the right shoe, and the left shoe untied, the laces just flapping about.

When I read this part of the sentence:
You could see just one sock coming from the right shoe
I think well isnt that how it suppose to be, just one sock coming for a certain shoe as opposed to reading it as if he only had one sock at all.

I also have another sentence which is possibly comma over loaded?

To his side, at times, would sit a dog, and not always the same dog, just any passerby willing to offer friendship, a tail wag for a pat on the head.

Any ideas?

 

[Rover_KE]

By his side, at times, would sit a dog. Not always the same dog but any passing mutt willing to offer friendship and a tailwag for a pat on the head.

Rover

 

[Sythik]

That is better, thanks for the help.

 

[BobK]

I sympathize with 5jj's self-restraint. Lip buttoned. ;-)

b

 

[BobK]

Not everyone will agree with everything Phil Beadle says, but this will make for an interesting half-hour: Punctuation - Commas | Teachers TV

b