[General] Personal statement for applying of MSc construction management

[ibrahimbadran]

hi , I am applying for Msc in construction management,they required a personal statement
if i can take some minutes to review it

Dear Sir, Madam
My name is ……… , I am applying for the Master of Construction Management with the ………. Admission into this programme would be a solid step towards my goal of becoming an entrepreneur in the construction Management industry
I am an Engineer with BSc in civil engineering, graduate on 2002 from recognised University in …with tough five years studying in English language modules
After nearly total 15 years of experience in construction industry with supporting of numerous courses such as PMP & FIDIC courses and obtaining numerous certificates in my current region as A member of society engineer in UAE , approved engineer of Dubai municipality for G+ unlimited floors construction . approved as project manager from recognised authorities in Dubai such as M/s Trakhess & M/s JAFZA as attached in my qualification documents also I have 8 years’ experience in construction management as A construction project manager as position with managing large scale projects in UAE country with full communication in English as the first language in contract
Therefore, after I reached to this point in my career, my goal is to develop my aptitudes and improve on them to a degree that would allow me to better understand the subtleties of the construction management process and skills which will support me to develop my skill and become a leader in construction management in my career especially large scale projects with professional intentional organization in construction management industry
After many months of searching for a programme designed to achieve this target, I found your program is the best solid program in construction management for many reasons as below,
Firstly , your programme accreted by the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (RICS) which is the most recognised institute in the world
And programme structure modules especially contract Admission and Practice and Management Finance and science modules
Moreover ,my knowledge of many successful professional careers in construction management industry in my region specially UAE country had been graduate from your respected university with this programme
I would, therefore, feel obliged to be able to secure admission in your prestigious university with in M.S in construction management programme.
I am sure that I will match all the credentials and will be able to maintain high standards at your university and I will meet your entry requirement especially the English language proficiency especially that my 5 years tough undergraduate Bachelor studying was fully in English as well as 15 years of experience in construction industry with fully communication in English language as you aware in Gulf region
With regards,

 

[teechar]

Hi, I am applying for an MSc in construction management, [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] and I'm required to write a personal statement.
I would appreciate it if someone can [STRIKE]take some minutes to[/STRIKE] review it.

Dear Sir/Madam,

[STRIKE]My name is ……… ,[/STRIKE] I wish to apply [STRIKE]am applying[/STRIKE] for the Master of Construction Management degree programme [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] at the ………. Admission into this programme would be a solid step towards my goal of becoming an entrepreneur in the construction management industry.

I am an engineer with a BSc in civil engineering, [STRIKE]graduate on[/STRIKE] which I obtained in 2002 from [STRIKE]recognised[/STRIKE] ABC University in … with tough five years studying in English language modules
After nearly total 15 years of experience in construction industry with supporting of numerous courses such as PMP & FIDIC courses and obtaining numerous certificates in my current region as A member of society engineer in UAE , approved engineer of Dubai municipality for G+ unlimited floors construction . approved as project manager from recognised authorities in Dubai such as M/s Trakhess & M/s JAFZA as attached in my qualification documents also I have 8 years’ experience in construction management as A construction project manager as position with managing large scale projects in UAE country with full communication in English as the first language in contract
Therefore, [STRIKE]after I reached to[/STRIKE] at this point in my career, my goal is to develop my aptitudes and improve on them to a degree that would allow me to better understand the subtleties of the construction-management process and skills which will support me to develop my skill and become a leader in construction management [STRIKE]in my career[/STRIKE] especially in large-scale projects with [STRIKE]professional intentional[/STRIKE] large international organizations. [STRIKE]in construction management industry[/STRIKE]
After many months of searching for a suitable programme, [STRIKE]designed to achieve this target,[/STRIKE] I found your programme [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] to be the best [STRIKE]solid program in construction management[/STRIKE] for many reasons. [STRIKE]as below,[/STRIKE]
Firstly, your programme is accredited by the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (RICS). [STRIKE]which is the most recognised institute in the world[/STRIKE]
And programme structure modules especially contract Admission and Practice and Management Finance and science modules

Moreover, [STRIKE]my knowledge of[/STRIKE] many successful professionals [STRIKE]careers[/STRIKE] in construction management [STRIKE]industry[/STRIKE] in [STRIKE]my region specially[/STRIKE] the UAE [STRIKE]country had been[/STRIKE] graduated from your respected university with this programme.

I would, therefore, feel obliged to be able to secure admission in your prestigious university [STRIKE]with in[/STRIKE] for the MSc in construction management. [STRIKE]programme.[/STRIKE]

I am sure that I will match all the credentials and will be able to maintain the high standards at your university. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] I believe that I [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] meet your entry requirements, especially the English language proficiency [STRIKE]especially[/STRIKE] given that my 5-year [STRIKE]tough[/STRIKE] undergraduate [STRIKE]Bachelor studying[/STRIKE] degree was fully in English as well as my 15 years of professional experience in the construction industry [STRIKE]with fully communication in[/STRIKE] using English language [STRIKE]as you aware[/STRIKE] in the Gulf region.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your reply.

[STRIKE]With regards,[/STRIKE]
Yours faithfully,

Ibrahim Badran

The text in blue is not at all clear. Rewrite it in a simple and direct manner.
.