mehong19
Member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2015
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Japanese
- Home Country
- Taiwan
- Current Location
- Japan
Am self-studying a textbook to help myself on writing improvement. There are several exercise sections in the book I am studying. My today's progress is around topic sentence(subject + attitude). It's hoped someone could review my practice work and provide the feedback and comments. Many thanks in advance!
By the way, the sentences or text from the textbook are in italic letters. The ones I wrote of my practice work are in regluar type.
Exercise Goal: Narrow each of the following broad topics by writing an interesting topic sentence.
1. Teams:
-> A group of talented and experienced team members brings the core contribution to a successful clinical trial project.
2. Jobs:
-> Jobs in high-tech sectors nowadays demand more skills and knowledge of employees in a company.
3. Violence:
-> Domestic violence is a concerning issue in the society of Japan.
4. Politicians:
-> Presidential election every four years turmoils the some degree of disorder and tension in the society by sophisticated politicians.
5. Movie stars:
-> Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks are both famous movie stars in States, their acting styles are different.
Exercise Goal: Making subjects and attitudes clear
1. Everybody knows I'm hardworking.
-> For members I work with in this project, they know I am the constant one who leaves the lab after 11pm in weekdays.
2. My pet knows me very well.
-> My pet dog, Dumbo, acts adequately each time while I speak and give the signs to him.
3. I think exercise hurts more people than it helps.
-> I think exercise, such as running or work-out, with insufficient warm-up and stretch hurts more exercisers than it helps.
4. "Cosby" is the best show on TV.
-> "Cosby" is one of the best American comedy shows in late 1990s, broadcasted by CBS.
5. Arguing is fun.
-> Arguing involved with logical and rational thinking and speech is a joyful learning.
6. When we moved to the farm, it fascinated me.
-> When my family and I moved to the farm in the countryside in Ohio, the open and broad view of plain fascinated me.
7. Math is the pits.
-> Theoretical math we learned in today's lecture is the pits.
8. There is entirely too much emphasis on self-esteem.
-> There is entirely too much emphasis, from psychological perspectives, on how self-esteem would influence on an individual success.
9. Stupidity is curable.
-> According to recent outcomes of a phase III clinical trial, sponsored by ABC company, the loss of memory is able to be treated and recovered by their testing drug, called XYZ.
10. Travel teaches people a lot.
-> The student exchange program to overseas countries in college teaches exchange students many of things which are different from where they are originally from.
Exercise Goal: The appropriateness of subjects and attitudes
1. Best-selling author Stephen King is also a talented musician.
-> good
2. You learn to write by writing.
-> One can learn to write precisely and concisely by keeping a journal on a notebook and having someone review and provide the feedback or comments.
3. The KKK has the right to parade.
-> According to the law, the KKK, commonly known as a group of anti-immigration and white nationalism in States, has the civil right to advocate their assertion with parade.
4. Winning the high school basketball championship had a real effect on us.
-> good
5. Michael Jackson is a different entertainer.
-> Michael Jackson, commonly known as 'King of Pop', is an unprecedented pop dancer with his unique dancing style to fascinate his audience.
6. The most exhilarating feeling in the world is running.
-> The most exhilarating feeling in the world is intensive running, which can trigger brain naturally excrete more neurotransmitters to make runner feel in good mood.
7. Let me tell you about my day at the park.
-> Let me tell you about my day at the park near our neighborhood.
8. The world today has many problems.
-> The world today has many concerning issues and problems such as extreme climates, proliferation of unclear weapons, and regional conflicts caused by globalization.
9. Nothing ever goes right.
-> My day in office today seemed nothing ever goes right, even a simple paper jam in the printer machine caused half day to resolve.
10. Some people do not respect their parents and think that they would be better off on their own.
-> good
By the way, the sentences or text from the textbook are in italic letters. The ones I wrote of my practice work are in regluar type.
Exercise Goal: Narrow each of the following broad topics by writing an interesting topic sentence.
1. Teams:
-> A group of talented and experienced team members brings the core contribution to a successful clinical trial project.
2. Jobs:
-> Jobs in high-tech sectors nowadays demand more skills and knowledge of employees in a company.
3. Violence:
-> Domestic violence is a concerning issue in the society of Japan.
4. Politicians:
-> Presidential election every four years turmoils the some degree of disorder and tension in the society by sophisticated politicians.
5. Movie stars:
-> Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks are both famous movie stars in States, their acting styles are different.
Exercise Goal: Making subjects and attitudes clear
1. Everybody knows I'm hardworking.
-> For members I work with in this project, they know I am the constant one who leaves the lab after 11pm in weekdays.
2. My pet knows me very well.
-> My pet dog, Dumbo, acts adequately each time while I speak and give the signs to him.
3. I think exercise hurts more people than it helps.
-> I think exercise, such as running or work-out, with insufficient warm-up and stretch hurts more exercisers than it helps.
4. "Cosby" is the best show on TV.
-> "Cosby" is one of the best American comedy shows in late 1990s, broadcasted by CBS.
5. Arguing is fun.
-> Arguing involved with logical and rational thinking and speech is a joyful learning.
6. When we moved to the farm, it fascinated me.
-> When my family and I moved to the farm in the countryside in Ohio, the open and broad view of plain fascinated me.
7. Math is the pits.
-> Theoretical math we learned in today's lecture is the pits.
8. There is entirely too much emphasis on self-esteem.
-> There is entirely too much emphasis, from psychological perspectives, on how self-esteem would influence on an individual success.
9. Stupidity is curable.
-> According to recent outcomes of a phase III clinical trial, sponsored by ABC company, the loss of memory is able to be treated and recovered by their testing drug, called XYZ.
10. Travel teaches people a lot.
-> The student exchange program to overseas countries in college teaches exchange students many of things which are different from where they are originally from.
Exercise Goal: The appropriateness of subjects and attitudes
1. Best-selling author Stephen King is also a talented musician.
-> good
2. You learn to write by writing.
-> One can learn to write precisely and concisely by keeping a journal on a notebook and having someone review and provide the feedback or comments.
3. The KKK has the right to parade.
-> According to the law, the KKK, commonly known as a group of anti-immigration and white nationalism in States, has the civil right to advocate their assertion with parade.
4. Winning the high school basketball championship had a real effect on us.
-> good
5. Michael Jackson is a different entertainer.
-> Michael Jackson, commonly known as 'King of Pop', is an unprecedented pop dancer with his unique dancing style to fascinate his audience.
6. The most exhilarating feeling in the world is running.
-> The most exhilarating feeling in the world is intensive running, which can trigger brain naturally excrete more neurotransmitters to make runner feel in good mood.
7. Let me tell you about my day at the park.
-> Let me tell you about my day at the park near our neighborhood.
8. The world today has many problems.
-> The world today has many concerning issues and problems such as extreme climates, proliferation of unclear weapons, and regional conflicts caused by globalization.
9. Nothing ever goes right.
-> My day in office today seemed nothing ever goes right, even a simple paper jam in the printer machine caused half day to resolve.
10. Some people do not respect their parents and think that they would be better off on their own.
-> good
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