The clay has hardened lest anyone can reach you

[Glizdka]

Have I made any mistakes?

"The clay you were made from has hardened lest anyone can reach you. It's become a shell, protecting you from danger, but at the same time, preventing anyone from meeting the astronomer, poet, and artist who once dwelled within."

 

[Rover_KE]

I have moved your thread.

When you want your own writing to be edited or proofread, please post it here in Editing & Writing Topics.

 

[Tarheel]

I would delete "can" from the first sentence.

 

[jutfrank]

The first sentence is wrong. You've misused lest.

 

[NamelessKing]

Not A teacher

How about "The clay you were made of has hardened such that now no one can reach you"?

Also, does removing "can" imply that the clay deliberately hardened out of fear that people would get in?

 

[probus]

so that not such that.

For example "The clay has formed a hard shell, such that...". Such is a adjective and needs a noun to modify. So on the other hand is an adverb. Lots of people get that wrong these days.

 

[hatimhussain]

Have I made any mistakes?

"The clay you were made from has hardened lest anyone can reach you. It's become a shell, protecting you from danger, but at the same time, preventing anyone from meeting the astronomer, poet, and artist who once dwelled within."

The clay you were made from has hardened for anyone to reach you. It's become a shell, protecting you from danger, as well as, preventing anyone from meeting the astronomer, poet, and artist who once dwelled within."

( I am not a teacher)

 

[Tarheel]

The clay you were made from has hardened for your protection. It's become a shell, protecting you from danger, as well as preventing anyone from meeting the astronomer, poet, and artist who once dwelled within."

My suggestions.

 

[Glizdka]

Is this any better?

"The clay you were made from has hardened, becoming a shell that protects you from danger, but at the same time, prevents anyone from meeting the astronomer, poet, and artist who once dwelled within."

 

[Tarheel]

Is this any better?

I think so. (I would remove two of the commas.)