We're kind of ourself and no need to please others

[Silverobama]

Hi.

In China, if a man keeps asking a woman out on a date but the woman doesn't respond, such a man is called a "licking dog". Someone who keeps asking another person out on a date in a subserviant way.

Today someone posted something like "Stop asking a woman who turns you down on a date because the more you give, the more she feels superior".

I then said yes and added "We're kind of ourself and no need to please others".

I wonder if my italic sentence is natural. If not, what can I say to express the idea?

 

[Tarheel]

I don't know what that means.

Do you want to say you have no need to please others?

 

[Silverobama]

I don't know what that means.

Do you want to say you have no need to please others?

I want to say that because of the haughty air of the some women here (they don't reply to their admirers' messages or even not respond at all), some people (including me) choose not to text them even one message, not to please them and not ask them out on a date. As a way to protest against such a behavior.

I wonder if there's one possible alternative.

 

[emsr2d2]

What do you think "We're kind of ourself" means?

By the way, there's nothing "haughty" about a woman not responding to an unsolicited message from a man. If you ask someone out on a date, you should be ready for several possible reactions:
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
No response.

That goes for people of either sex asking other people of either sex out on a date.

 

[Tarheel]

I want to say that because of the haughty air of the some women here (they don't reply to their admirers' messages or even not respond at all), some people (including me) choose not to text them even one message, not to please them and not ask them out on a date. As a way to protest against such a behavior.

I wonder if there's one possible alternative.

Say:

some women, not "the some women"

You either reply to a text message or you don't. There is no "not respond at all" option.

Sometimes persistence pays. Sometimes the man is able to turn a no into a yes.

I'm pretty sure that if you don't text her she doesn't notice.

 

[Silverobama]

What do you think "We're kind of ourself" means?

By the way, there's nothing "haughty" about a woman not responding to an unsolicited message from a man. If you ask someone out on a date, you should be ready for several possible reactions:
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
No response.

That goes for people of either sex asking other people of either sex out on a date.

I'm sorry, emsr2d2. I know there are many things for me to learn and I always listen to you and others here.

I apologize because in order to save time, I didn't express the idea clearly.

Here's the original context.

I met a woman online and I wanted to ask her out on a date. She was quite interested in talking with me at the very beginning but she didn't reply to my messages later on. I didn't know what happened to her, but I didn't do anything wrong, so I decided not to text her anymore. Meanwhile, in China, there's a group of people (always men) with the nickname "licking dog", and this literally means that a man who wants to date a woman but the woman doesn't want to go out on a date. Then these men keep texting them or doing something to please the women, then some women might agree to go out on a date with a man. I decide not to be that kind of men because it's really tired and time-consuming.

I then posted something about this online. A woman commented "We're kind of ourself; we don't need to please others". I don't understand what "we're kind of ourself" mean but I guess she meant "People are sometimes self-centered" and they have themselves to please".

I was trying to find some examples of "be ourself" but I couldn't so I asked the question by using the original context in the OP.

 

[Tarheel]

Say "it's tiring" or "it's exhausting".

Everybody has their own opinion. People make different choices.

That phrase doesn't mean anything in English.

 

[emsr2d2]

I met a woman online and I wanted to ask her out on a date. She was quite interested in talking with me at the very beginning but she didn't reply to my messages later on.

That is entirely her prerogative.

I didn't know what happened to her,

Maybe nothing "happened to her". She just stopped chatting to you.

but I didn't do anything wrong,

We can only know that for certain if we hear from the woman.

so I decided not to text her anymore.

That was the right decision.

Meanwhile, in China, there's a group of people (always men) with the nickname "licking dog", and this literally means that a man who wants to date a woman but the woman doesn't want to go out on a date.

Thank you for the explanation.

Then these men keep texting them

Where I'm from that's called stalking.

or doing something to please the women, then some women might agree to go out on a date with a man.

If a woman agrees to go out on a date after being pestered, that's up to her.

I decided not to be that kind of men man

I'm pleased you came to that decision.

because it's really tired tiring and time-consuming.

I'm less pleased with the reason for your decision. You should want to not be that kind of man because the behaviour you've described is extremely disrespectful to women.

I then posted something about this online. A woman commented "We're kind of ourself; we don't need to please others". I don't understand what "we're kind of ourself" mean but I guess she meant "People are sometimes self-centered" and they have themselves to please".

I doubt that she wanted to refer to herself as "self-centred". There's nothing self-centred about choosing not to go on a date with a man who asked you out. I'm not sure what "they have themselves to please" means either.

I was trying to find some examples of "be ourself" but I couldn't so I asked the question by using the original context in the OP.

"To be oneself" simply means to be true to one's own thoughts, feelings, principles etc. I might say "My friends and I like to be ourselves, regardless of the situation".

 

[Tarheel]

In my humble opinion there's nothing wrong with being persistent. If a woman says no the first time he might ask her out again later. Some long-term relationships have started out that way.

You have complete control over whether a person sends you text messages or not. If you want to block the person you can.

We're only talking about text messages. If I send somebody unwanted text messages that person can simply block me.

As for asking someone out on a date more than once, there's no law against it. I suppose you could consider it stalking if it becomes annoying, but two times?

In any case, you can always block somebody from sending you text messages.

 

[5jj]

I then said yes and added "We're kind of ourself and no need to please others".

I apologize because in order to save time, I didn't express the idea clearly.

That's clear. At first you told us that you said these words and asked if they were natural. Later you daid that some woman used them and that you did not understand them.

A woman commented "We're kind of ourself; we don't need to please others".

 

[Skrej]

A woman commented "We're kind of ourself; we don't need to please others". I don't understand what "we're kind of ourself" mean but I guess she meant "People are sometimes self-centered" and they have themselves to please".

It's difficult to say without being able to ask the woman herself, but from the given context, I think the nearest English equivalent might be something like "We don't have to answer to anyone" or "We don't need to explain ourselves to anyone."

The first part of her original utterance is meaningless in English.