can you help me correct this application letter??

[rozalia31]

Thanks in advance to everyone!
Here's the task:
-Are you intereste in music
-Do you have any useful experience?
- Is your level of English good?

Dear Mr Fortune,

I have seen your advertisement in a magazine and I am writing to apply for a job in your music store.

I am 19-year-old student from Netherland and I have just finished school.I have lived in London for three years.I have excellent communication and organisational skills.I am optimistic person.I am hardworking,friendly and having excellent English.
Last year I worked in a music store but unfortunately it was closed.
Well,I think I am the suitable person , because I have always interested in music and I play all kind of instruments.
In addition I have a big music band,and I am the pianist.

I would be grateful if you would send me further details about this position.

I would welcome the oppurtunity if i attend an interview.

Your Faithfully,
xx

[billmcd]

Thanks in advance to everyone!
Here's the task:
-Are you interested in music
-Do you have any useful experience?
- Is your level of English good?

Dear Mr Fortune,

I have seen your advertisement in a magazine and I am writing this my application to apply for a job for a position in your music store.

I am 19-year-old student from the Netherlands and I have just finished school completed my education. (You should specify the level of education.) I have lived been living in London for three years. I have excellent communication and organisational skills. I am an optimistic person.I am hardworking, friendly and I have a good command of excellent English. Last year, I worked in a music store, but unfortunately, it was closed.

Well,I think I am the suitable person I believe I qualify for this position because I have always had an interest ed in music and I play all kind a variety of instruments.
In addition, I have a big music band ,and among which I am the pianist.

I would be grateful if you would send me further details about this position and I would welcome the opportunity if i attend for an interview.

Yours Faithfully, sincerely,
xx

b.

[rozalia31]

Thank you very much! :)