Have you ever heard "advances" being used in a positive or neutral context in regards to sex/romance?

[ghoul]

advances

While this dictionary defines it neutrally per se in that regard, it does only list negative examples for it and besides, you always see that word in conjunction with harassment in articles on Googles' page one. The suggested German translation also means "harassment" basically.

I wonder if it sounds natural to you if someone uses the word like: "I made advances toward Katharina yesterday, but it didn't go too well." Or: "I just saw you making advances on Jana. I'm proud of you finally having found the courage to do that!"

 

[5jj]

I understand the word only in a negative sense.

 

[ghoul]

I understand the word only in a negative sense.

Guess I'll stick to "approach" then.

 

[jutfrank]

I wonder if it sounds natural to you if someone uses the word like: "I made advances toward Katharina yesterday, but it didn't go too well."

I think that's fine. I guess that the word 'advances' is very often used in contexts where those same advances are failed, unwanted, or rejected, such as your one, which is perhaps precisely what gives it a negative feel.

Connotation is a slippy thing. If there are negative connotations to a word, it doesn't necessarily mean that the right context can't mask them.

Or: "I just saw you making advances on Jana. I'm proud of you finally having found the courage to do that!"

I think that's okay. It's quite imaginable to me that one can 'make advances' on a woman in a perfectly respectable way. For me, it doesn't have to sound like harassment, even if that is the kind of context that it's typically used in.

 

[emsr2d2]

I wouldn't go as far to say that it's always negative. It can be neutral. However, I think it's unlikely (in the 21st century) that a person would say that someone was "making advances" on them and actually suggest that that's a good thing or that they're happy about it. Connotation or not, it's generally used in a negative context.
A lot of the negative connotation comes simply from at least one other use of the word - it's used in warfare to describe an army marching on an enemy. That's pretty threatening!

Time does change usage. I can imagine a literary character such as Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice, written in 1813) saying something like "Goodness, Mr Darcy, I do believe your advances are having the most unexpected effect on me", whilst blushing and smiling.

 

[jutfrank]

A lot of the negative connotation comes simply from at least one other use of the word - it's used in warfare to describe an army marching on an enemy. That's pretty threatening!

Interesting. Yes, I think that may well be right. Perhaps there is a basic metaphor along the lines of 'sex=war' that this expression reveals, and which contributes to negative connotation. I'm thinking also of the expression 'sexual conquest'. I wonder if anyone can think of any others.

 

[Alex Case]

Is "make a move on" slightly less negative??

 

[emsr2d2]

Is "make a move on" slightly less negative??

Not really. That still sounds like the person is doing something at best somewhat underhand and at worst threatening. I'd say that the only way to keep a neutral tone in this context is to use "ask someone out [on a date]".

 

[jutfrank]

Is "make a move on" slightly less negative??

Good example. It feels to me about the same. What do you think?

Metaphorically, this fits neatly into the idea of there being a strategy to achieve a desired outcome, as when playing chess, or when waging war. If the implication of strategy is victory, then necessarily there must be a loser.

 

[Tarheel]

I think "make a move on" is more negative than "make an advance". Others, of course, may disagree.

 

[5jj]

"make an advance".

I'v only heard the plural advances in this sense.

 

[ghoul]

Not really. That still sounds like the person is doing something at best somewhat underhand and at worst threatening. I'd say that the only way to keep a neutral tone in this context is to use "ask someone out [on a date]".

I associate that phrase with actually asking someone out on a romantic date for a long-term relationship rather than trying to hook up with them.

For a hookup-related term, I believe "approach" is more suited since it doesn't seem frowned upon, as not only pickup sites, but even tame mainstream articles, such as the Wikihow one use that term in that regards. One may argue that the term is ambiguous which is fair but at least it leaves open the possibility for an intended hookup, unlike "ask someone out".

 

[Tarheel]

The word "approach" is OK. It's more or less neutral.