I am making a children book. Please check my English Please. Very Thank you so much.

[pangloy]

Hello.

I am making a children book.

English is not my native language.

Please check my English Please.

I attached PDF file. (22 pages)

Very Thank you so much.
Thank you for your help.

View attachment 1-converted.pdf

 

[tedmc]

The sentences in the front pictures do not have punctuation.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hello.

I am [STRIKE]making[/STRIKE] writing a children's book. English is not my native language. Please check my English. [STRIKE]Please.[/STRIKE]

I have attached a PDF file. (22 pages)

[STRIKE]Very[/STRIKE] Thank you so much.
[STRIKE]Thank you for your help.[/STRIKE]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please note my corrections to your post above. One "please" in a sentence is enough. One "thank you" is enough.

Like some other users, I'm not prepared to open attachments from someone I don't know. I'm happy to look at the contents of your children's book (a paragraph at a time) but you'll have to type the text manually into a post here.

 

[pangloy]

Sorry! I just know that I can post images in the post

But only 5 images per 1 post, I will post 5 times for 22 pages.
(May click the image for larger image.)

Thank you so much.
---------------
page 1


page 2


page 3


page 4


page 5

 

[pangloy]

page 6


page 7


page 8


page 9


page 10

 

[pangloy]

page 11


page 12


page 13


page 14


page 15

 

[pangloy]

page 16


page 17


page 18


page 19


page 20

 

[pangloy]

page 21


page 22 (Last page.)


-----------------
Thank you so much for checking.
Thank you. Thank you so much.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Daddy! I found a turtle.

There is no reason to put everything in all caps. Plus the background needs to be light enough so that the text is readable. (Note the punctuation.)

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Should I release it into the river?

That illustration needs to be simplified. Focus on one tortoise at a time.

Back to bed for me!

 

[Tarheel]

More natural would be:

Daddy, can I keep it?

Do five-year-olds know words like "release"? (I don't know.)

 

[pangloy]

More natural would be:

Daddy, can I keep it?

Do five-year-olds know words like "release"? (I don't know.)

Shuold be "put it into the river" instead of "release it into the river"?

 

[tedmc]

"Release" is a better word (the opposite) to use with an animal which is caught.
Is the book for five-year-olds learning English as a second language? I doubt so.

 

[pangloy]

"Release" is a better word (the opposite) to use with an animal which is caught.
Is the book for five-year-olds learning English as a second language? I doubt so.

I want this book for kid on The Amazon KDP store.
The image I can draw but the texts is my problem because I am not good in English.

 

[Tarheel]

Should it be "put it into the river" instead of "release it into the river"?

No, not necessarily. I was just wondering what age group it's targeted to.

I could be wrong, but the pictures in the illustrations seem to indicate the age group the book is geared for.

 

[Tarheel]

I want sell this book in the kids section on The Amazon KDP store.
I can draw the pictures. The problem is the text.

You don't have to say over and over that you are not very good at English.

 

[Tarheel]

Try:

Hold on! We need to take a look at it first.

Note that the shorter sentences (one or two letters) are more likely to get an exclamation mark.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

It is either a turtle or a tortoise.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Turtles have webbed feet.

 

[Tarheel]

Sorry! I just know that I can post images in the post

I'm not sure what you're trying to say there.:-?

But only 5 images per post.

How about one per post?