semi-cover letter

[leszkoss]

I want to apply for a Stock and Admin Clerk job at my workplace. On of the points of the questionnaire in the online application says:

Please outline your experience to date of where you think your experience would add value to the position you have applied for and detail any shift patterns you prefer to work?

Could you kindly read and give feedback on my answer to that question? Thank you in advance for any help:



I have a vast, hands-on experience in warehouse operations. During the past five years I have performed various roles in this environment. Thanks to that, my knowledge of warehouse work is not strictly theoretical. On the contrary, I have managed to develop a sound understanding of warehouse processes from their practical side.


In addition to that, it has always been my goal to constantly develop myself and head towards learning new things and acquiring new skills. My CV contains a list of independent coursework which I have undertaken as a means of my personal development and preparation for new opportunities.


As for the shift preference, I am ready to either stay on my current shift, or switch to day or afternoon shift, should the need arise.

 

[Doctor Document]

Let's try to express the same information in fewer words:
I have fulfilled the various responsibilities in several different roles associated with warehouse operations during the past five years.

I like your use of the word "thanks", because it carries a nice feeling. In the mind of the reader, words like "thanks" are associated with positive, uplifting feelings. Everyone likes to hear that word.

Instead of saying thanks to "that", you can be more specific. Thanks to my hands on experience, my knowledge...

"In addition to that, it has..." – This sentence does not express anything meaningful. Everyone can say they have a goal of constantly improving themselves and so forth. Because it is a general statement that almost any applicant might make, it is not helpful here. Maybe you can reflect on what is most important to you, professionally, and give a specific example instead of just generally saying that you want to constantly develop yourself and learn new things. It will be great if you can think of one or more new skills you will acquire if you are given this job. The best thing is if you can show that you really are truly motivated to get this particular job, rather than simply being motivated to get any job; I think the goal of a piece of writing like this one should be to say things that cause the reader to come to her or his own conclusion about you: Make them come to a conclusion that you are a person who takes pride in working hard and being very productive.

I hope you succeed in this application and in all that you do!