[Grammar] Facebook "Who do you want to message?"

I saw this on Facebook, and wonder about the grammar. Shouldn't it be "Whom do you want to message?" Because in fact if this sentence weren't a question it would be "I want to message __", and therefore 'who' should be in the objective case, not the subjective.

Purists insist that only 'whom' is correct. In British English, few people would say 'whom'; A few more might write it, but not many. 'Who' is acceptable; indeed, it is more natural for most speakers of BrE.

I think anyone who insisted on 'whom' there would splutter over their Corn Flakes at that use of 'message' too. ;-)

b

5jj's reply is probably even more correct in AmE than in BrE. Nobody, but nobody, ever says whom in North America. Once in a blue moon I think about saying whom, and then I double clutch and go "Whoa, what were you thinking?' ;-)

Oooo! I haven't double de-clutched for a very, very long time! ;-)
R21

Route21 said:

Oooo! I haven't double de-clutched for a very, very long time! ;-)
R21

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Neither has my driver.

Stephen Eckelberry said:

I saw this on Facebook, and wonder about the grammar. Shouldn't it be "Whom do you want to message?" Because in fact if this sentence weren't a question it would be "I want to message __", and therefore 'who' should be in the objective case, not the subjective.

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Computing takes a very relaxed approach to a number of grammar issues- forums not fora, etc. However, the who/whom distinction has been eroded to such an extent that it is impossible to say that this sentence is an error nowadays. In the most formal contexts, you could make a case for whom being preferable but Facebook is not such a context.

probus said:

5jj's reply is probably even more correct in AmE than in BrE. Nobody, but nobody, ever says whom in North America.

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That surprises me. When I was still training, not that long ago, I had several young American trainees who insisted that 'whom' was widely used. With one or two, I had to produce grammar books to prove that my claims about the acceptability of 'who' was not a crackpot idea of my own.

I must disagree with Probus.
"Whom" is alive and well when it comes immediately after a preposition. It is certainly highly unlikely to show up as the first word in the subject sentence, though.

Barb_D said:

I must disagree with Probus.
"Whom" is alive and well when it comes immediately after a preposition. It is certainly highly unlikely to show up as the first word in the subject sentence, though.

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That is also true in BrE.