[Essay] My Second English Article---Waiting for your suggestion and Modification

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shirebest

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Jun 21, 2010
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Here is the request given from the test: There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms are they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benifits of the mobile phone?
Below is my article:

There is no denying the fact that the emergence of mobile supplies humen with extreme benefits. But meanwhile, the widespread use of cell phones breeds series problems which exist in society, medicine and technology. To my mind, the disadvantages are far mor greater than the advantages.

There is no free lunch. When we enjoy the help from mobile, we have to face the ugly effects which are bound up with it. For example, the function of text message in cell phone is abused by some amoral commercial organizations. As a result, abundance of advertisements which are called litter messages are received everyday. Surely, we are disturbed by the arrival of them, moreover, our privacy is stolen. This is just one aspact of the social problems which are not solved till now.

Concerned the medical problems, it is believed that using mobile in long time can result disease in brain. Though there is no experiment evidence about this assessment, it is true that someone would have headache after calling with this device.

In addition, there are technical difficulty for pelple to address the rubbish comes from mobiles, the betteries , for instance. To date, no sutiable way is found to cope with them.

It's a fact that this smart communication tools have brought about much good to us: Convinence, efficence, fast. But I don't think these can exceed the problems come up with the device. The more advanced tool we use, the more efficient job we do, it virtually means that we destory the environment in a higher speed. Once the earth is so destructed by high developed industry that it can't support us to live, is there any meaning to communicate with a phone?
 

tedtmc

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Jun 12, 2006
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Interested in Language
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Chinese
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Malaysia
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Malaysia
the emergence of mobile supplies humen with extreme benefits
What do you mean by that word in your first sentence?
I understand that what is referred to as 'mobile phone' in Asia is more commonly called 'cell phone' in western coutries.
 

shirebest

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Joined
Jun 21, 2010
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Student or Learner
Dear Friend,
Thank you for your indication.
I have some question about your indication, would you please give me a hand:
1) series (wrong word): Why I can't use "series" here, how about sets?
2) This is just one aspect of the social problems which are not solved till now. (This means that the problem is solved.): I can't understant why my sentence means the problem is solved, would you please show me?

I corrected the the wrong spellings and repost my second article, please do me a favor to check, thanks a lot.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
What do you mean by that word in your first sentence?
I understand that what is referred to as 'mobile phone' in Asia is more commonly called 'cell phone' in western coutries.

Cell phone = AmE
Mobile phone = BrE

And in both, the word "phone" is frequently missed out.

Can I have your cell number?
Please call my mobile.
 
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