[Grammar] A Complaint letter

[king43jeff]

Dear Mrs. xxxxx:

On May 25, 2011, I purchased a Coleman Oasis 6-Person Tent for $109.99 after taking the tent home, I realized that the zipper was broken and it would not close.

I immediately returned the tent back to the store. The sales clerk there informed me that she was not authorized to exchange the item or give me a refund. Since I purchased this item at your store, and my camping trip is next weekend, I would like to have my money refunded to me or receive a new tent immediately.

I can be reached at the above address or by telephone at #######. I would greatly appreciate your prompt attention concerning this matter.

 

[riquecohen]

Dear Mrs. xxxxx:

On May 25, 2011, I purchased a Coleman Oasis 6-Person Tent for $109.99. After taking the tent home, I [STRIKE]realized[/STRIKE] discovered that the zipper was broken and it would not close.

I immediately returned the tent[STRIKE] back [/STRIKE]to the store. The sales clerk [STRIKE]there[/STRIKE] informed me that she was not authorized to exchange the item or give me a refund. Since I purchased this item at your store, and my camping trip is next weekend, I would like to have my money refunded[STRIKE] to me [/STRIKE]or receive a new tent immediately.

I can be reached at the above address or by telephone at ######. I would greatly appreciate your prompt attention [STRIKE]concerning[/STRIKE] to this matter.

Welcome to the forum, king43jeff. Why didn't you ask to speak to the manager while you were at the store? It is astonishing that a store like Sears would not honor a request for exchange of a defective product.

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear Mrs. xxxxx:

On May 25, 2011, I purchased a Coleman Oasis 6-Person Tent for $109.99. After taking the tent home, I [STRIKE]realized[/STRIKE] discovered that the zipper was broken and it would not close.

I immediately returned the tent [STRIKE]back[/STRIKE] to the store. The sales clerk there informed me that she was not authorized to exchange the item or give me a refund. Since I purchased this item at your store, and my camping trip is next weekend, I would like to have my money refunded [STRIKE]to me[/STRIKE] or receive a new tent immediately.

I can be reached at the above address or by telephone at #######. I would greatly appreciate your prompt attention concerning this matter.

I agree with riquecohen but I guess it's too late now! See above for amendments. There aren't very many - it was mostly very well written. One suggestion - if your camping trip is next weekend then I would not recommend suggesting to them that they write to you at "the above address". By the time your letter reaches them, they deal with it and write back to you, your camping weekend will be over!

We are assuming, of course, that this is a genuine complaint letter, not an exercise you've been asked to complete!