Would you mind helping me to check out these three sentences? Thank you.

[heyuting]

Two years ago, I moved to Guangzhou city in the hope of finding a good job while my intimate friend, Michael, who chose to stay in the hometown. But we still keep in touch with each other. Last week, I commented on his message on Facebook because he was planning to hold an annual reunion of all friends on the national holiday.

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


My respectful suggestions:

(1) Just refer to Guangzhou. It sounds strange in English to say, for example, I visited "London city."

(2) I think that it would be a good idea to avoid the term "intimate friend." That could have many meanings. Do you wish to say that

Michael is your No. 1 friend? Then it might be helpful to say:

... while my best friend, Michael, chose to stay in our hometown. (No "who," please)

 

[emsr2d2]

Two years ago, I moved to Guangzhou city in the hope of finding a good job while my [STRIKE]intimate[/STRIKE] close friend, Michael, [STRIKE]who[/STRIKE] chose to stay in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] our hometown. [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] We still keep in touch with each other. Last week, I commented on his message on Facebook because he was planning to hold an annual reunion of all his friends on the national holiday.

See above.