Help with punctuation

[easybreakable]

Hi,

I need help regarding the punctuation of this piece, it would be greatly appreciated.

Dulcet,
sounds of the minaret
challenging skies,
once threatened...

Praying
glorifying

greeting the martyrs.


From the cemeteries
through the murk
there it was

stumbling
still approaching

"hope"
the dead gladly given.
​

 

[easybreakable]

What's the meaning of the icon "Moved" ?!

 

[Tdol]

Why the comma at the end of the first line?

 

[easybreakable]

To set off introductory elements of the poem. I tend to use this manner of writing.

 

[5jj]

Thhis is how I would punctuate it:

Dulcet sounds of the minaret, challenging skies, once threatened...

Praying, glorifying, greeting the martyrs.

From the cemeteries, through the murk, there it was, stumbling, still approaching -

"hope", the dead gladly given.


I ran some of the lines together to make it easier to see things as a whole.

I am afraid that I don't know what the last line means.

 

[Tdol]

To set off introductory elements of the poem. I tend to use this manner of writing.

I see no need to put a comma there- it doesn't set off anything IMO, and just creates a barrier between an adjective and its noun- they're dulcet sounds, not dulcet, sounds.

 

[easybreakable]

Thhis is how I would punctuate it:

Dulcet sounds of the minaret, challenging skies, once threatened...

Praying, glorifying, greeting the martyrs.

From the cemeteries, through the murk, there it was, stumbling, still approaching -

"hope", the dead gladly given.


I ran some of the lines together to make it easier to see things as a whole.

I am afraid that I don't know what the last line means.

I can't change the layout. It's supposed to be free verse not prose.

The last line is related to the martyrs, they are the dead who gave the hope with a will. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[easybreakable]

I see no need to put a comma there- it doesn't set off anything IMO, and just creates a barrier between an adjective and its noun- they're dulcet sounds, not dulcet, sounds.

And I appreciate your opinion.Other than this, is there any remark regarding the rest of the poem?

 

[5jj]

I can't change the layout. It's supposed to be free verse not prose.
I didn't say you should change the layout. I changed it to make it easier for me to punctuate. You can have whatever layout you wish.

The last line is related to the martyrs, they are the dead who gave the hope with a will.
That doesn't mean anything to me, either.

5

 

[easybreakable]

I'm sorry, seems like I was a bit confused when I read your first response. I will stick to your corrections, they're convenient.