Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. dkqmail's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Mar 2012
    • Posts: 83
    #1

    Please check is it correct

    Hi,
    Could you please check and correct my writing?
    Does my text sound natural, if no, how can I fix it?

    ---
    In 2013, [..] received his B.Eng. degree in Computer Science with specialization in Network Engineering form The Hague University of Applied Sciences, Hague, Netherlands. During his engineering project, he prepared the design of wired and wireless network infrastructure and developed the new architectural plans of the building with the plotted infrastructure of the designed computer network.

    He possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, management and maintenance of fully redundant high available fault tolerant network architectures, of both the wired and wireless connections. He is specialist in design and develop a scalable low-cost and high-performance network infrastructure. He has the ability to develop procedures and solutions that improve network disaster recovery and business continuity.

    In addition to his academic activities, he conducted research focused on design, implementation and operation of novel algorithm using artificial intelligence. Within the framework of his research he developed two solutions and presented their result in his two scientific publications.

    His main research interests are in communication theory, high availability network, infrastructure network for industry.
    ---

    Thank you in advance.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,329
    #2

    Re: Please check is it correct

    Could you please check and correct my writing?
    Does my text sound natural? If not, how can I fix it?

    ---
    In 2013, [..] received his B.Eng. degree in Computer Science with specialization in Network Engineering form from The Hague University of Applied Sciences, Hague, Netherlands. During While carrying out his engineering project, he prepared the design of wired and wireless network infrastructure and developed the incorporated it into the new architectural plans of the building with the plotted infrastructure of the designed computer network. (I do not think a computer engineer would be able to do architectural plans)

    He possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, management and maintenance of fully redundant high-availableavailability fault-tolerant network architectures, of both the wired and wireless connections. He is specialist specialised in design and developed a scalable low-cost and high-performance network infrastructure. He has the ability to develop procedures and solutions that improve network disaster recovery and business continuity.

    In addition to his academic activities, he conducted research focused on design, implementation and operation of novel algorithm using artificial intelligence. Within the framework of his research he developed two solutions and presented their result in his two scientific publications.

    His main research interests are in communication theory, high-availability network, infrastructure network for industry.
    ---

    Thank you in advance.

    not a teacher
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 06-Apr-2015 at 11:46. Reason: Minor typo

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #3

    Re: Please check is it correct

    I don't like "... he prepared the design of ...". Why not just use "... he designed ..."?

    In addition, grammatically, your title should have been either "Please check if it is correct" or "Please check. Is it correct?" In fact, your title should have included some or all of the words involved (as per the forum guidelines). A good title would have been "In 2013, XXX received his B. Eng degree ..."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. [Grammar] Please Check is it correct.
    By aju India in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 24-Mar-2015, 18:03
  2. [Grammar] correct or not ,just to check
    By Saker1200 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 23-Mar-2013, 20:49
  3. [Essay] Please check and correct everything for me
    By andrykyo in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-May-2009, 07:14
  4. Check and correct it
    By rayz26 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 15-Aug-2008, 19:54
  5. Please Check and Correct
    By dkjain1976 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Dec-2006, 11:02

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •