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    #1

    Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they

    Please point out errors.

    Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to?
    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    There is a significant change in buying trends of people in some developing countries over the last few years. People tend to invest more on modern and new products to avail maximum benefits associated with them. I agree to some extent that economic prosperity, high wages, attractive advertisements and improved quality of products ignite people to buy latest products. However, it has many detrimental effects on environment that leads to pollution, deforestation and massive quality of rubbish in societies.

    There is no denying that people living standards have been improved with economic success. Increased in pay and reduced prices of commodities have dramatically rise the buying capacity of people. Additionally, advertisement plays a pivotal role in attracting people attention toward new and modern products. For example, commercial consistently ignite people desires to buy products that are trendy, modern and advanced. Furthermore, people have become workaholics and hardly get enough time for repairing products. It is also seen that some time repairing cost is much higher to the actual values of the product that also discourage people to repair old things.

    Despise of the benefits, it also have dire consequences on environment, in order to fulfill demand of contemporary people, companies are exploiting natural resources. Deforestation, de-vegetation and lagging are prevalent in many societies. Moreover, people are producing more rubbish by discarding traditional items and adopting products of presents-days.

    To sum up, I would like to say that products of today’s age are more advanced and efficient than conventional, thus these attract large numbers of people because of their undeniable benefits. Governments and individuals should make attempt to create awareness about reusing and recycling of items. Consequently it will help in cleaning parks and streets from massive litters of wasted disposable cups, plates and bags.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    Furthermore, people have become workaholics and hardly get enough time for repairing products. It is also seen that some time repairing cost is much higher to the actual values of the product that also discourage people to repair old things.
    Only that bit relates to the essay question you were asked to address. The rest of your essay is off-topic!

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    #3

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    I told in the essay why people do not use or repair old things.

    Still it is not related to topic?

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    #4

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    I told explained in the essay why people do not use or repair old things.
    No, you didn't. In fact, the text I quoted above is the only place where the word "repair" occurs in your essay. The word "broken" does not occur at all.

    Your essay is off-topic and would be considered a fail in my opinion.

    Try again.

    Hint: Be direct and cut out the waffle.

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    #5

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Can you please suggest some point i should include in writing this essay?

    Actually I am still not clear with question.

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    #6

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    First, may I ask you where you got the essay question from?
    It's not well formulated, as it involves two topics "old things" and "broken things."

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    #7

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Normally I get it from internet, sometime my friends gave me.

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    #8

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Let's rewrite the essay question as:

    Nowadays, people all too easily throw away broken things instead of repairing and reusing them. What you think they should do? Write an essay to explain your position on this issue.

    The next step is to plan out your body paragraphs. At least, think of topic sentences for two or three body paragraphs.

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    #9

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Topic Sentences:

    1. Repairing broken things is costly and time taking job.

    2. Broken things might loose performance and efficiency after repairing.

    3. New things would be more efficient and secured as designed and developed according to new technologies and standards.


    these are right or not ?

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    #10

    Re: Please point out errors. Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    Topic Sentences:
    1. Repairing broken things is often costly and time consuming. taking job.
    Qualify your statements. For example, I've used "often" here.

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    2. Broken things might loose performance and efficiency after repairing.
    This is not well written. It can be misinterpreted as "Broken things can lose performance and efficiency as a result of getting repaired."
    Your idea is good. Let's phrase it properly. e.g. "Even after extensive repairs, there are no guarantees that broken items will have the same effectiveness or efficiency as new ones."

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    3. New things would are more likely to be more efficient and secured reliable than refurbished ones, as the former are usually designed and developed according to the new latest technologies and standards.
    Again, note the qualification.

    Quote Originally Posted by fahad_a11 View Post
    Are these are right or not ?
    Apart from the above comments, these topic sentences are great!
    Let's hope they're the seeds for a successful essay.

    Now, you should develop each of these sentences into a full paragraph. Remember to follow the general-to-specific structure. And please keep out the waffle! Write clear and direct sentences.

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