Fiercest hailstorm

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Johnyxxx

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Hello,

Is the word fiercest acceptable in the text below?

"Except for our cannon, all the guns of our battery had been silenced by enemy. When the hailstorm of Prussian needle-guns was fiercest, the sergeant came running to us, saying, "There´s nothing more we can do. Let´s save your cannon at least."



Thank you very much
 

MikeNewYork

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Yes. The author introduced a metaphor with "hailstorm" and "fiercest" works with that.
 

Johnyxxx

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Yes. The author introduced a metaphor with "hailstorm" and "fiercest" works with that.

The author is me. :) I asked because I was uncertain if the metaphor would work.

Thanks a lot for help.
 

Tdol

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The author is me. :) I asked because I was uncertain if the metaphor would work.

It works fine. Should cannon in the first sentence be singular or plural?
 

Rover_KE

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Yes, that's unclear.

Johny's probably familiar with Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade', where there's clearly more than one.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
 

Johnyxxx

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It works fine. Should cannon in the first sentence be singular or plural?


I used the word "cannon" to avoid the usage of "gun" twice in a sentence; to avoid "except for our gun, all the guns of our battery ... :)

So it is singular.
 

Johnyxxx

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Yes, that's unclear.

Johny's probably familiar with Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade', where there's clearly more than one.


The title The Charge of the Light Brigade rings a bell with me but I know nothing about Tennyson ...
 

Johnyxxx

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Unless wider context makes it clear that you are talking about a single cannon, then it might be better to write ​our crew's cannon.


Could I write "Except for our cannon No.VIII, all the guns had been silenced by enemy?" (Each of the guns/cannons had their number)
 

MikeNewYork

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Yes, that works.
 
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