Man makes his own

[Untaught88]

Hi,

Can you please point out my mistakes?

''Man makes his own fate. He should work hard with devotion so that he may achieve success in his life. Hard work is the greatest reality/fact of this world which cannot be belied. If we look at the past , we will realise that all the great men worked hard and made their fate. Some people do not work and blame their fate when they fail. God helps those who help themselves.''

 

[Tarheel]

No major errors. But I do have some suggestions. First, you don't need "his" in the second sentence.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Hard work is the greatest reality of this world which cannot be denied.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

If we look at the past, we will realise that all the great men worked hard and made their own fate.

 

[Tarheel]

What do you think?

 

[teechar]

I could be rising to a very obvious bait here, but this kind of thing really irks me! Why not use "people" or "a person" instead of "man" in such texts? Even "a man" would be better in that sentence. This could be a cultural difference thing, but in my view "man" is highly gender specific and could easily be avoided.

 

[Tarheel]

It's traditional usage, but I suppose it could be seen as sexist. But grammatically speaking there is nothing wrong with it.