Could someone check my short essay?

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bakluka438

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I know it's a cliché, but what can I do?

My devoted mother

Do you have someone to whom you mean a world, who loves you and accepts you just the way you are? Well, I do, and she got black hair and hazel eyes. Yeah, that’s my mother.
She has always been my role model, my support, my source of enthusiasm and, above all, my dearest friend. Also, she is the only person who I feel close enough to tell some of my greatest joys and troubles. Ever since I was just a toddler, she was diligent and tireless. Working all day to provide for us and then coming home to cook lunch and clean the house. I am amazed by the amount of energy and effort she put to me on daily basis. She is a definition of devotion. The best thing about her is that even with all those difficulties she maintains a smile on her face. One of her finest traits is that she is always optimistic about the future, even though worse times are coming.
I am very proud of my mother. She gave me everything, even though I do not deserve it. Yes, I don’t deserve her, but she loves me, with her whole hart.
 

tedmc

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My Devoted Mother

Do you have someone to whom you mean [STRIKE]a [/STRIKE] the world, who loves you and accepts you just the way you are? Well, I do, and [STRIKE]she[/STRIKE] the person (I find "she" used for the first time, out of place here) [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] has black hair and hazel eyes. Yeah, that’s my mother.

She has always been my role model, my support, my source of enthusiasm and, above all, my dearest friend. Also, she is the only person who I feel close enough to [STRIKE]tell[/STRIKE] share some of my greatest joys and troubles. Ever since I was just a toddler, she [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] has been diligent and tireless. [STRIKE]Working[/STRIKE] She works all day to provide for us and then [STRIKE]coming[/STRIKE] comes home to cook lunch and clean the house. I am amazed by the amount of energy and effort she puts [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] in for me on daily basis. She is [STRIKE]a definition[/STRIKE] an icon of devotion. The best thing about her is that, even with all those difficulties, she maintains a smile on her face. One of her finest traits is that she is always optimistic about the future, even though worse times are coming.
I am very proud of my mother. She [STRIKE]gave[/STRIKE] has given me everything, even though I do not deserve it. Yes, I don’t deserve her, but she loves me, with [STRIKE]her whole hart[/STRIKE] all her heart.
 

emsr2d2

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When are you going to submit your short essay to your teacher/tutor?
 
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