[Essay] Kindly check my Essay and highlight the corrections

[dulanjana]

[FONT=&quot]Question : Itis generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, forinstance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it issometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Discussboth these views and give your own opinion.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]Give reasons for your answer andinclude any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
[FONT=&quot] Write at least 250 words.

[/FONT]Each and every child born in the world has various talents for various things. One child may have fantastic talents for sport and someone may have more talents to music. It’s a quite interesting natural phenomenon that we face within the children. To become the world more beautiful, we should have the children with different thoughts and different innate abilities.

In my opinion, every child reflects their abilities at the infant stage and parents can decide his or her life path. For an instance, a child will more wise for the mathematics rather than his or her siblings. It depends on the brain capacity and also with the parent’s wisdom. If the parents are wiser and more talented, we can see their children become more talented. Sometimes it gives a broader outlook of children life. They easily absorb the things what they learn from the school as well as the society.

However, most of the children have not inborn talents. They acquire the knowledge by behaving in the society and they learn to live in a virtual world. Parents of every child need to make them good individuals in the country, therefore they encourage their children till they catch up the correct way of life. Consequently, children become more talented after learning them from a teacher or adult. For an instance, Well-known football player Ronaldo had has his own talents, but he has improved them by proper guides of a professional coach.

In a nut shell, there are lots of children who have latent inborn talents and knowledge and some may not. In spite of thinking their talents, teachers should teach every child in same way. Then the child will shine the world by using their own talents and learned knowledge.
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[teechar]

Each and every child is born [STRIKE]in the world has various[/STRIKE] with talents for various things. One child may have fantastic talents for sport [STRIKE]and someone[/STRIKE] while another may have more talents [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for music. It’s a quite interesting natural phenomenon that we face within the children. To become the world more beautiful, we should have the children with different thoughts and different innate abilities.

In my opinion, [STRIKE]every[/STRIKE] a child usually [STRIKE]reflects[/STRIKE] starts showing such talents [STRIKE]their abilities[/STRIKE] at the infant stage, and parents can then nurture those talents. [STRIKE]decide his or her life path.[/STRIKE] For an instance, a child [STRIKE]will more wise for the[/STRIKE] may turn out to be stronger in mathematics [STRIKE]rather[/STRIKE] than his or her siblings. It depends on the brain capacity and also with the parent’s wisdom. If the parents are wiser and more talented, we can see their children become more talented. Sometimes it gives a broader outlook of children life.

I can't understand the parts highlighted in red.

They easily absorb the things what they learn from the school as well as the society.

That appears to be off topic.

However, most of the children have not inborn talents.

That's ungrammatical, bit more importantly, if conflicts with what you stated in your opening sentence.

They acquire [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] knowledge by [STRIKE]behaving in the[/STRIKE] interacting with others in society, and they learn to live in a virtual world.

Parents of every child need to make them good individuals in the country, therefore they encourage their children till they catch up the correct way of life.

Again, that appears to be off topic.

Consequently, children's [STRIKE]become more[/STRIKE] talents [STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] can develop [STRIKE]after[/STRIKE] as they learn [STRIKE]ing them[/STRIKE] from a teacher or an adult. For [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] instance, the well-known football player Ronaldo [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] has his own natural talents, but he has improved them by proper [STRIKE]guides of[/STRIKE] guidance from a professional coach.

In conclusion, [STRIKE]a nut shell,[/STRIKE] there are lots of children who have [STRIKE]latent inborn[/STRIKE] natural talents. [STRIKE]and knowledge and some may not.[/STRIKE]

In spite of thinking their talents, teachers should teach every child in same way. Then the child will shine the world by using their own talents and learned knowledge.

Again, that appears to be off topic.

 

[dulanjana]

Thank you very much for your corrections. It will help me a lot to correct my mistakes.