Ben looked close up

[Bassim]

Would you please correct the mistakes in this little dialogue, which I wrote as an exercise?

Ben looked close up at Anna's face, which was covered in thick make-up.
"You don't have to put on make-up like a whore,"he said.
A deep blush coloured her face. "Is it really so awful?" she asked.
"Yes. It's terrible. It's so greasy you could oil wheels with it."
"But everyone wears make-up in this way," she said.
"Because they are all conformists and never think for themselves."
"So what do you suggest?"
"Remove it. You have a pretty face that doesn't need any make-up."
Anna went silently to the bedroom and returned a few minutes later.
"What do you think?"
"Wonderful." he said.
"Now go to the toilet and shave off your moustache," she said in a commandeering voice.
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
"You look like a mafia boss. I don't want to be associated with criminals."
As he obediently walked to the toilet, Anna made faces and poked her tongue at him behind his back like a naughty girl.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Ben lookedvclosely at Anna's face....

And perhaps:

...she said in a commanding tone

I would say he went to the bathroom.