A poor man (part two)

Status
Not open for further replies.

chunchuntthn

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Vietnamese
Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
Vietnam
A poor man

Bob explained/answered: “Every day, I have been working very hard, but I am not still rich”. The fairy man smiled and agreed to help him. The fairy man said: “Every day, he goes to the sand next to the river near his village and find a rock. If the rock shines, you have to grasp it tightly and it will help you become rich”.

Bob came back home and every day, he went to the sand beside the river. After some months, he couldn’t find the rock. He thought (that) the fairy man lied him. While he was angry, he grabbed a rock and threw it away. The rock glowed, exploded and the fairy man appeared and said: “You are not patient enough to grab chances when you threw the rock”.

Please correct my mistakes.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Perhaps:

Bob said: "I have been working very hard for years, but I am not rich."
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Try:

Every day, go to the shore next to the river and find a shiny rock. Squeeze it tightly and it will help you become rich.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Bob went to the river every day to look for a shiny rock. He did that for months and was unable to find one. Finally, out of frustration he grabbed a rock and threw it towards the river. The rock glowed then exploded. The fairy man said: "You are not patient enough." Bob said: "No, I'm a fool for listening to stupid advice."
 

chunchuntthn

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Vietnamese
Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
Vietnam
I have replaced “the fairy man” into “the fairy”.

Bob explained: “Every day, I have been working very hard for many years, but I am not rich”. The fairy smiled and agreed to help him. The fairy said: “ Every day, go to the shore of the river and find a rock. Squeeze it tightly and it will help you become rich".

Bob came back home and he went to the river every day to look for a shiny rock. He did that for months but he was unable to find one. This depressed him a lot/very much. He grabbed a rock and threw it towards the river. The rock glowed and exploded. The fairy appeared and said: “ You are not patient enough”. Bob said “No, it is stupid when listen to your advice”.

Please give me some remark.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top