[Grammar] With awareness

Status
Not open for further replies.

topman85

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 29, 2016
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
With awareness, not only the great energy of this group is not wasted due to shyness, resentment, anxiety, fear of the crowd, and other things, but also by directing this great source of energy towards creativity, writing, lecturing, art, and other valuable works all use these positive features.



Did I write correctly?
 

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
No, the sentence is too long and is trying to say too many things. What follows after "but also" is not related to the earlier part and does not make sense.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
With awareness, not only the great energy of this group is not wasted due to shyness, resentment, anxiety, fear of the crowd, and other things, but also by directing this great source of energy towards creativity, writing, lecturing, art, and other valuable works all use these positive features.

Did I write it correctly? (I'd use "Have I written it correctly?")

Note my correction and comment above.

I have no idea what your long, convoluted sentence means. Please try to explain it to us differently and more clearly.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top