the tank slowly trundled

[alpacinou]

Hello.

Can I use the verb "trundle" to talk about a tank? Or is it just used for something which has "wheels"?

What about "screech"?

What do you think about this?

The massive tank slowly trundled through the small village, making a screech that disturbed the entire village.

Also, what can I add to disturb to intensify it a bit?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's good.

Instead of disturbed, you might use:

- woke up
- awakened
- alarmed
- annoyed
- dismayed
- galvanized
- alerted
- terrified
- perplexed
- confounded
- agitated
- peeved

And I'd only use village once.

 

[alpacinou]

It's good.

Instead of disturbed, you might use:

- woke up
- awakened
- alarmed
- annoyed
- dismayed
- galvanized
- alerted
- terrified
- perplexed
- confounded
- agitated
- peeved

And I'd only use village once.

I checked the thesaurus but couldn't find a synonym for village. Things like rural area and countryside obviously don't work here.

The massive tank slowly trundled through the only street there, making a screech that disturbed the entire sleepy village.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Of course, you could just substitute something like town or hamlet or settlement.

But you don't have to.

There's a poker game called Seven Card Roll 'Em. Each player's cards are all face-down. You arrange your seven, as a friend of mine says, "for maximum entertainment value."

Then, in turn, each player turns one card face-up. The play goes around and around the table until a winning hand is revealed.

Writing is like that. You don't show all your cards at once. You roll them over one at a time until the story is revealed. It's obvious in movie-making, right? One shot follows another follows another, and you experience the story one shot at a time.

But it's important in any writing. So what if you just said something like:


- The massive tank slowly trundled down the narrow street, making a screech that disturbed the entire village.

- The massive tank slowly trundled through the town square, making a screech that disturbed the entire village.

- The massive tank slowly trundled out of the wheat field and onto the main road, making a screech that disturbed the entire village.


Or you could do something at the other end:


- The massive tank slowly trundled through the small village, making a screech that could be heard for miles.

- The massive tank slowly trundled through the small village, making a screech that aroused the citizens.


The point is, you you don't have to show every card in every sentence — which is good, because you can't.

 

[Tarheel]

I didn't know tanks made screeching sounds.

 

[alpacinou]

I didn't know tanks made screeching sounds.

How would you describe the annoying sound that the movement of tanks make? What words would you use?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

How would you describe the annoying sound that the movement of tanks make? What words would you use?

Ker-BLAM!

 

[Tarheel]

How would you describe the annoying sound that the movement of tanks makes? What words would you use?

Well, I saw Patton. It was awhile back tho. And I didn't get that close to the tanks.

 

[tedmc]

Rumbling sound?

 

[emsr2d2]

It might be "Ker-Blam" when they fire. The OP is talking, I believe, about the horrible scraping/screeching sound the tank's caterpillar tracks make against concrete/tarmac as they move along a paved street.

 

[alpacinou]

It might be "Ker-Blam" when they fire. The OP is talking, I believe, about the horrible scraping/screeching sound the tank's caterpillar tracks make against concrete/tarmac as they move along a paved street.

Yes. I mean that. So, I would assume screech is the correct word since you used it.

 

[emsr2d2]

Yes. I mean that. So, I would assume screech is the correct word since you used it.

It works OK for me.

 

[tedmc]

I would associate "screeching" with a sharp, piercing noise as in hard braking. The noise made by moving tanks is different.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It might be "Ker-Blam" when they fire. The OP is talking, I believe, about the horrible scraping/screeching sound the tank's caterpillar tracks make against concrete/tarmac as they move along a paved street.

Of course!

It just had to be said.