describing a person with their shadow

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alpacinou

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I want to describe a person's shadow.

Is this good?

In the corridor, he saw a petite shadow with long hair straggling down her shoulder. He tried to imagine the real person. An elfin face, honey blonde hair perhaps. Slim figure and small feet.
 

Tarheel

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Well, shadows can have length and breadth but not size. How did he know it was a smallish woman and not a child?
 

emsr2d2

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Also, shadows don't have gender, so you can't say that a shadow has long hair flowing down her shoulder. In any case, the shadow could be that of a small man with long hair!
 

Charlie Bernstein

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And I doubt he'd get elfin face or blonde hair from a shadow. That seems like too much wishful thinking.
 
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alpacinou

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What if he knew the person?

In the corridor, he saw a petite shadow with long hair straggling down her shoulder. He knew it was Nicole. The shadow of her elfin face, slim figure and small feet was unmistakable.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Yes, then it's good.
 

alpacinou

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Yes, then it's good.

Is all of it okay?

In the corridor, he saw a petite shadow with long hair straggling down her shoulder. He knew it was Nicole. The shadow of her elfin face, slim figure and small feet unmistakable.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Is all of it okay?

In the corridor, he saw a petite shadow with long hair straggling down her shoulder. He knew it was Nicole. The shadow of her elfin face, slim figure and small feet unmistakable.
As always, I would have said so it it wasn't.
 
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