some other environmental issues are more important

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

Hi, teachers. For the bold part, can I change it to 'some other environmental issues are more important'? Is the meaning still the same? Is it grammatically correct and natural? Thanks!

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (Source: Cambridge IELTS book)

 

[Yankee]

Yes, but why?

 

[Tarheel]

Hi, teachers. For the bold part, can I change it to 'some other environmental issues are more important'?

Yes.

Is the meaning still the same?

Pretty much.

Is it grammatically correct and natural?

Yes.

Thanks!

Please thank me after I have helped you. (I would appreciate that.)


Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (Source: Cambridge IELTS book)

Now you know!

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

Yes, but why?

I'm practicing paraphrasing. :-D

 

[jutfrank]

You could change the bold part, keeping the same meaning to:

there are (other) environmental problems that are more important

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

You could change the bold part, keeping the same meaning to:

there are (other) environmental problems that are more important

Which is better, yours or mine?

Mine: some other environmental issues are more important.
Yours: there are (other) environmental problems that are more important.

I'm practicing paraphrasing. Thanks.

 

[Tarheel]

There is, I think, no reason to believe one is better than the other. You say pretty much the same thing either way.

 

[jutfrank]

Which is better, yours or mine?

Mine uses existential there are, which matches the original more closely. Yours doesn't need the word some at the beginning. Also, you've changed the word problems to issues, which doesn't have exactly the same meaning.

To give you more suitable advice, I'd ask you to write in complete sentences, to show how you want to use your paraphrases in the context of the essay, because the words you use should depend on exactly what you mean, and exactly how you wish to use the paraphrase in context.

there are more pressing environmental problems
there are more important environmental issues
there are much bigger environmental problems facing us
other problems represent a greater cause for concern
other problems are in more urgent need of attention

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

To give you more suitable advice, I'd ask you to write in complete sentences

Thanks, jutfrank. Here's my whole paraphrase:

Some people feel that the extinction of certain plant and animal species is the biggest environmental issue that we confront today, while others claim that there are other environmental problems that are more important.
I used yours. Of course yours is better. :-D

 

[Tarheel]

I wouldn't use "feel" there.

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

I wouldn't use "feel" there.

How about 'argue'?

 

[jutfrank]

Thanks, jutfrank. Here's my whole paraphrase:

Some people feel that the extinction of certain plant and animal species is the biggest environmental issue that we confront today, while others claim that there are other environmental problems that are more important.

That's okay, but now I'm not sure what you're doing. Did your teacher tell you that you should paraphrase the whole of the essay title statement?

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

That's okay, but now I'm not sure what you're doing. Did your teacher tell you that you should paraphrase the whole of the essay title statement?

Yes, exactly. He told us to paraphrase the whole question statement in our introduction paragraph, and the state our opinion. What's wrong?

 

[jutfrank]

Yes, exactly. He told us to paraphrase the whole question statement in our introduction paragraph. What's wrong?

Hmm. Well, I don't want to contradict your teacher, but I'd tell my students not to do that, for several reasons. It's hard to imagine why your teacher would want you to do that, but I'll have to trust that he knows what he's doing.

Is this an IELTS essay? Or are you working towards a school exam? Is the essay question from a course book? Or did your teacher give it to you?

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

Hmm. Well, I don't want to contradict your teacher, but I'd tell my students not to do that, for several reasons. It's hard to imagine why your teacher would want you to do that, but I'll have to trust that he knows what he's doing.

If I don't do paraphrasing, then how should I write the first part of the introduction paragraph. Could you show me how you would write it?

Yes, it's an IELTS essay. It's from Cambridge IELTS 14.

 

[jutfrank]

Yes, it's an IELTS essay. It's from Cambridge IELTS 14.

I see. In that case, I'm happy to contradict your teacher's instruction. On the day of your exam, do not attempt to paraphrase the entire title statement. That's unnecessary and is going to waste time.

If I don't do paraphrasing, then how should I write the first part of the introduction paragraph. Could you show me how you would write it?

I'm not going to give you a lesson on how to write IELTS essays here, I'm afraid. How you start your essay depends on various factors related to what you're going to say and the particular approach that you've chosen to take.


Edit: I realise my posts here may not be very constructive. How about you actually write this essay, post it in the Editing and Writing Topics subsection of the forum, and then I'll give you some useful feedback.

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

Edit: I realise my posts here may not be very constructive. How about you actually write this essay, post it in the Editing and Writing Topics subsection of the forum, and then I'll give you some useful feedback.

Thanks, I will write one. I'm afraid I will paraphrase the entire question statement, since I don't know other ways to start an essay.

 

[jutfrank]

Don't worry. Just go ahead and do it in the way you've been told. I want to see how you've been doing it until now.

 

[Tarheel]

How about 'argue'?

Yes, that's better.

 

[Tarheel]

By the way, when you paraphrase something you want to keep the essence of what was said. For example, I don't remember a question somebody asked Thomas Sowell, so I changed it (in my mind) to "What made you change your mind?" It's different wording, but it keeps the essence of what was said.

(Note that Thomas Sowell is a real person, and it was a real question in a real interview. I don't remember the exact wording of the question, but I remember his answer. It was succinct and to the point.)