The story of a penatly kick

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Manchester United striker John grabbed the ball to put it on the penalty kick spot. Beams of the stadium spotlights glared down on him as if to remind him of the importance of this penalty kick. They were so bright he almost had to squint. Behind the lights, the fans were dark figures standing and moving anxiously and yelling. The sound of John's pounding heartbeat got drowned in their shouts. Do it.

Everything appeared to be happening in slow motion as he put the ball down onto the spot and took a few steps back. It's now or never, he thought. He closed his eyes, exhaled and strode towards the ball. His kick ended in the corner of the goal stretching the net. The entire stadium erupted, the fans whooping and hollering as John sprinted in jubilation towards the corner spot, yelling and raising his fist in celebration. He then saw the expressions of some of the fans in the corner of the stadium change from ecstatic to angry. The smile on John's lips crumpled as he turned around and saw the referee had ruled the penalty to be repeated.

 

[emsr2d2]

Is this correct and natural?

Manchester United striker, John surname, grabbed the ball to put it on the penalty [STRIKE]kick[/STRIKE] spot. The beams of the stadium [STRIKE]spotlights[/STRIKE] floodlights glared down on him as if to remind him of the importance of this penalty kick. They were so bright he almost had to squint. Behind the lights, the fans were dark figures [STRIKE]standing and[/STRIKE] moving anxiously and yelling. The sound of John's pounding heartbeat [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] was drowned [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] out by their shouts. "Just do it!", he thought.

Everything appeared to be happening in slow motion as he put the ball [STRIKE]down onto[/STRIKE] on the spot and took a few steps back. "It's now or never", he thought. He closed his eyes, exhaled and strode towards the ball. [STRIKE]His kick[/STRIKE] It ended up in the corner of the goal, stretching the net. The entire stadium erupted, the fans whooping and hollering as John sprinted in jubilation towards the corner, [STRIKE]spot,[/STRIKE] yelling and raising his fist in celebration. He then saw the expressions of some of the fans in the corner of the stadium change from [STRIKE]ecstatic[/STRIKE] ecstasy to [STRIKE]angry[/STRIKE] anger. The smile on John's lips crumpled as he turned around and saw the referee had ruled the penalty had to be [STRIKE]repeated[/STRIKE] retaken.

emsr2d2

 

[Tarheel]

Is this correct and natural?

Manchester United striker John Johnson took the ball to put it on the penalty kick spot.

I am not a soccer (football) fan, but doesn't the referee do that?

Beams of the stadium spotlights glared down on him as if to remind him of the importance of this penalty kick.

OK.

They were so bright he almost had to squint.

Aren't they the same brightness for the whole game?

Behind the lights, the fans were dark figures standing and moving anxiously and yelling.

This suggests that he's paying attention to the fans. He isn't. Also, the lights are behind the crowd and way above them.

The sound of John's pounding heartbeat was drowned out by their shouts.

OK.

Do it!

I'll let somebody else finish it.

[Cross posted.]

 

[emsr2d2]

No, Tarheel, the referee doesn't put the ball on the penalty spot.