Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in my short story?
That the use of mobiles, smartphones, tablets and other gadgets while driving or working can be dangerous is a well-known fact. Some people have lost their own lives, caused tragic accidents and incurred other damage while their eyes were glued to a small screen, which lured them as sirens did sailors into their deaths.
The obsessive use of modern gadgets has made our world an unsafe place. Anytime and anywhere, you can become the victim of people who find our world boring and enter the world of Internet, where there is no end of excitement and instant gratification. But a few moments of their pleasure can cause the worst tragedy for others.
That even the richest and famous people are not safe, prove the case of the famous singer T. He owned an imposing mansion in the countryside, where he regularly retreated after his numerous world tours. At the back of the house was a large orchard, planted mostly with walnuts. They were more than a half-century-old and very tall. The singer believed that eating nuts together with honey was the best natural aphrodisiac, and he did not begin his day without eating a handful of them, and a few teaspoons of honey, which he bought from a local beekeeper. Now and then, he pruned his trees, the practice he learnt from his father as a child.
One morning he took his saw and climbed the ladder high into the treetop. For a man in his sixties he was still nimble, despite weighing more than 120 kg. On the ground, holding the ladder with her delicate hands was his forty years younger girlfriend, Samantha. T was doing his job like a professional, effectively removing the unwanted and dead branches and climbing ever higher. For a casual passerby, this would be a scene from Paradise. To the left, the dazzling white walls of the mansion, and to the right, the hard-working man in a treetop, surrounding by singing birds. Under him, standing in the grass, a young woman in a pink short skirt and pink high-heels, keeping watch on her man.
Had the famous singer pruned his trees in the previous century, he would have safely climbed down, given his girlfriend a kiss, and they would have returned to the luxury of their home to enjoy the life of happiness. But in our time, you cannot spend a moment without being online. After a while, Samantha became restless and took out her iPhone to see what reaction she had got after posting in social media the pictures of her new breasts, paid by T. Up in the tree, the singer was not aware what his young girlfriend was doing under him. He placed his foot on the next rung and the ladder swayed and tilted, and he panicked. Before he could do anything, he fell with a heavy thud. He was yelling with pain, and she was screaming in terror. He tried to move, but every movement sent ripples of pain through his body. “Call the ambulance, quick!” he said through this gritted teeth. Samantha was stunned; her iPhone with the picture of her expensive shapely breast lay on the grass. It took her a few minutes before she managed to call the ambulance and explain what happened to her boyfriend.
The singer was cantankerous, but the doctor told him he was lucky. A broken leg and a couple of broken ribs were nothing compared to the broken neck, which could have made him paralysed the rest of his life. Hopefully, after a few months, he would sing all over the world again to the joy of his fans.
He returned home, and Samantha cared for him, wearing her ubiquitous high heels and her low-cut dress. Her attractive figure and her youth had better effect on him than all medication he took. He was grateful that his talent had given him an opportunity that even in this difficult moment he could find joy in his life. Samantha worked diligently for a week, but then became restless and disappeared, taking with her all the cash and jewellery she could find in the house. The next day she posted on the Internet her new pictures, showing her lying on the floor, covered in banknotes, watches, gold and diamonds.
As for the singer, he never fully recovered. He walked with a limp and hated people with iPhones and other gadgets. Once he knocked a woman who just wanted to take a selfie with him, and cursed and shouted at people who pointed their smartphone at him. He was transformed into a misanthrope who seldom left his mansion, which was slowly falling into disrepair. Once thriving orchard went to rack and ruin. Occasionally, he was seen in his dishevelled state hobbling around with his walking stick and threatening to beat flocks of children who took photos of him on their smartphones.
THE END
That the use of mobiles, smartphones, tablets and other gadgets while driving or working can be dangerous is a well-known fact. Some people have lost their own lives, caused tragic accidents and incurred other damage while their eyes were glued to a small screen, which lured them as sirens did sailors into their deaths.
The obsessive use of modern gadgets has made our world an unsafe place. Anytime and anywhere, you can become the victim of people who find our world boring and enter the world of Internet, where there is no end of excitement and instant gratification. But a few moments of their pleasure can cause the worst tragedy for others.
That even the richest and famous people are not safe, prove the case of the famous singer T. He owned an imposing mansion in the countryside, where he regularly retreated after his numerous world tours. At the back of the house was a large orchard, planted mostly with walnuts. They were more than a half-century-old and very tall. The singer believed that eating nuts together with honey was the best natural aphrodisiac, and he did not begin his day without eating a handful of them, and a few teaspoons of honey, which he bought from a local beekeeper. Now and then, he pruned his trees, the practice he learnt from his father as a child.
One morning he took his saw and climbed the ladder high into the treetop. For a man in his sixties he was still nimble, despite weighing more than 120 kg. On the ground, holding the ladder with her delicate hands was his forty years younger girlfriend, Samantha. T was doing his job like a professional, effectively removing the unwanted and dead branches and climbing ever higher. For a casual passerby, this would be a scene from Paradise. To the left, the dazzling white walls of the mansion, and to the right, the hard-working man in a treetop, surrounding by singing birds. Under him, standing in the grass, a young woman in a pink short skirt and pink high-heels, keeping watch on her man.
Had the famous singer pruned his trees in the previous century, he would have safely climbed down, given his girlfriend a kiss, and they would have returned to the luxury of their home to enjoy the life of happiness. But in our time, you cannot spend a moment without being online. After a while, Samantha became restless and took out her iPhone to see what reaction she had got after posting in social media the pictures of her new breasts, paid by T. Up in the tree, the singer was not aware what his young girlfriend was doing under him. He placed his foot on the next rung and the ladder swayed and tilted, and he panicked. Before he could do anything, he fell with a heavy thud. He was yelling with pain, and she was screaming in terror. He tried to move, but every movement sent ripples of pain through his body. “Call the ambulance, quick!” he said through this gritted teeth. Samantha was stunned; her iPhone with the picture of her expensive shapely breast lay on the grass. It took her a few minutes before she managed to call the ambulance and explain what happened to her boyfriend.
The singer was cantankerous, but the doctor told him he was lucky. A broken leg and a couple of broken ribs were nothing compared to the broken neck, which could have made him paralysed the rest of his life. Hopefully, after a few months, he would sing all over the world again to the joy of his fans.
He returned home, and Samantha cared for him, wearing her ubiquitous high heels and her low-cut dress. Her attractive figure and her youth had better effect on him than all medication he took. He was grateful that his talent had given him an opportunity that even in this difficult moment he could find joy in his life. Samantha worked diligently for a week, but then became restless and disappeared, taking with her all the cash and jewellery she could find in the house. The next day she posted on the Internet her new pictures, showing her lying on the floor, covered in banknotes, watches, gold and diamonds.
As for the singer, he never fully recovered. He walked with a limp and hated people with iPhones and other gadgets. Once he knocked a woman who just wanted to take a selfie with him, and cursed and shouted at people who pointed their smartphone at him. He was transformed into a misanthrope who seldom left his mansion, which was slowly falling into disrepair. Once thriving orchard went to rack and ruin. Occasionally, he was seen in his dishevelled state hobbling around with his walking stick and threatening to beat flocks of children who took photos of him on their smartphones.
THE END
