Bea walked jauntily into the sea

[Bassim]

Are my sentences grammatically correct?

Bea walked jauntily into the sea, but in the next moment her cry broke over the water. She lifted her foot and saw a sea urchin under it. She limped to the beach, keeping herself from crying, and lay on her towel. As she looked at the spike inside her foot, she heard a husky voice, "Madam, please let me do it for you." A gorgeously-looking man was staring into her eyes, waving a pair of tweezers.

 

[emsr2d2]

I think we've told you before that it's "gorgeous-looking", not "gorgeously". Even better is simply "gorgeous".

 

[emsr2d2]

I'd use "but, moments later, she cried out in pain". I see no need to suggest that she cried out "over the water" and I don't like "broke" there at all.
I'd probably say "She lifted her foot and realised she had stepped on a sea urchin."
I'd use "in her foot" or "sticking out of her foot".
I'd say that he said "Madam, let me help you" or "Madam, let me get/take that out for you".

 

[Tdol]

her cry broke over the water

I am not sure whether this works too well.