"By 2016, export earnings from petroleum products, engineered goods, agricultural products, and textiles had risen to around 63 billion dollars..."

[hardyweineberg]

This sentence is from my essay:
"By 2016, export earnings from petroleum products, engineered goods, agricultural products, and textiles had risen to around 63 billion dollars, above 60 billion dollars, just over 30 billion dollars, and almost 33 billion dollars respectively, representing a 3%, 8.5%, 0.81%, and 15.24% increase respectively; engineered goods and textiles grew considerably in value, while the figure for agricultural products rose negligibly, and that for the petroleum product went up slightly"


"The gems and jewellery category was the only outlier. The country made more than 40 billion dollars from its sale in 2015, and although this number decreased significantly by 5.18% to roughly 40 billion in 2016, it was still the third highest."

1) Is it correct to say "export earnings from"?

2) Regarding the first sentence, is it okay to include too much information in a sentence and use respectively to combine the pieces of information?

3) Is my use of the term "outlier" accurate?

4) Can I say "something fell (considerably) by 5% or 7%"? For example, "the prices of phones have decreased markedly by 50%."

 

[emsr2d2]

1) Is it correct to say "export earnings from"?

I'd say "earnings from petroleum exports".

 

[teechar]

2) Regarding the first sentence, is it okay to include too much information in a sentence and use respectively to combine the pieces of information?

No. That sentence is a mess. Remember that a summary is meant to be a concise (not confusing) piece of text. Break it up.

3) Is my use of the term "outlier" accurate?

It's okay.

4) Can I say "something fell (considerably) by 5% or 7%"?

No. 7% or 5% is not a considerable amount. Use another adverb, and put a comma after the percentage amount.

For example, "the Phone prices of phones have decreased markedly, by 50%."

Again, note the correction.

 

[hardyweineberg]

No. That sentence is a mess. Remember that a summary is meant to be a concise (not confusing) piece of text. Break it up.

It's okay.

No. 7% or 5% is not a considerable amount. Use another adverb, and put a comma after the percentage amount.

Again, note the correction.

Is this okay?

A rewrite of the messy sentence:
"By 2016, while earnings from textiles had risen significantly, by 15.24%, to almost 33 billion dollars, those from agricultural products had increased negligibly, by a mere 0.81%. Moreover, the incomes gained from petroleum product sales and the sales of engineered goods grew to well above 60 billion dollars and approximately 61 billion dollars respectively, representing a 3% and 8.5% increase."

 

[teechar]

had risen significantly, by 15.24%,

That's not wrong, but you can also say "by a significant 15.24%".

the incomes gained from

Use "revenue from" instead. When I hear "incomes", I think of what individual people earn.