[Essay] Help me edit my first essay and evualte my writing skill.

[vietphu]

My best motivation
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My father used to a driver. I consider that's a hard job. He worked all day from the early morning till late night, even there were days that he didn't sleep. When I was only a child, I was jumping for joyful whenever he came back home and brought a lot of food and toys. At that time I was carefree and just knew that he's a driver. Nowadays when I grew up and realize how my farther worked hard, I really love and respect him. Now that he retired and helps my mother in her business. There're six people in my family. Dad, mom, two sisters, a brother and I live happy together. To nurture our siblings, my parents have worked very hard. My family is priceless in my heart. I always respect every chance in life and talk to my self that: Live my life, which my parents give me, keep trying and never giver up. Family - is not only my best ever motivation, but also quite safe place I always can come back whenever I want.
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[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher for marking or grading?

 

[vietphu]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher for marking or grading?

______
Nice to meet you! I just wrote for learning by myself. So I don't need it immediately. You can help me whenever you can.

 

[emsr2d2]

I just wrote it for practice [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] because I am learning by myself. [STRIKE]So[/STRIKE] I don't need it immediately. You can help me whenever you can.

I'm glad to hear it's not your homework. I can assure you that we always help "whenever we can". If you had suggested you needed it immediately, we would not have been happy! We are all volunteers doing this in our free time so it's good when learners understand that they might have to wait a while!

If someone hasn't already done it, I'll have a look at your essay when I get home from work.

 

[vietphu]

I'm glad to hear it's not your homework. I can assure you that we always help "whenever we can". If you had suggested you needed it immediately, we would not have been happy! We are all volunteers doing this in our free time so it's good when learners understand that they might have to wait a while!

If someone hasn't already done it, I'll have a look at your essay when I get home from work.

Great! Take your time. I'm looking forward waiting your editing for my essay.

 

[emsr2d2]

My best motivation

My father used to be a driver. I consider [STRIKE]that's[/STRIKE] that to be a hard job.

He worked all day from [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] early in the morning till late at night; [STRIKE]even[/STRIKE] there were some days that he didn't even sleep.

When I was [STRIKE]only[/STRIKE] a child, I [STRIKE]was jumping for joyful[/STRIKE] used to jump for joy whenever he came back home and brought a lot of food and toys.

At that time, I was carefree and just knew that [STRIKE]he's[/STRIKE] he was a driver.

[STRIKE]Nowadays when[/STRIKE] Then I grew up and realized how hard my [STRIKE]farther[/STRIKE] father worked, [STRIKE]hard,[/STRIKE] and/so I really love and respect him.

Now [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] he is/has retired and helps my mother in her business.

[STRIKE]There're[/STRIKE] There are six people in my family - Dad, Mom, my two sisters, and [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] my brother and [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] we live happy together.

To nurture [STRIKE]our siblings[/STRIKE] their children, my parents have worked very hard.

My family is [STRIKE]priceless[/STRIKE] precious in my heart.

I always [STRIKE]respect[/STRIKE] take every chance in life and [STRIKE]talk to[/STRIKE] tell myself [STRIKE]that:[/STRIKE] "Live my life, which my parents [STRIKE]give[/STRIKE] gave me, keep trying and never [STRIKE]giver[/STRIKE] give up".

My family (no dash here) is not only my best [STRIKE]ever[/STRIKE] motivation, but also [STRIKE]quite[/STRIKE] a safe place that I always can come back to whenever I want.
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See above. I have separated the sentences to make it easier to read. I'm not sure you've entirely demonstrated that your whole family is your best motivation - you have given good evidence of why your father has been a huge motivation though.

 

[vietphu]

Oh, a lot of mistakes I made. Thank you very much, indeed!
Be healthy and happy!

 

[emsr2d2]

Oh, what a lot of mistakes I made! Thank you very much (no comma here) indeed!
Be healthy and happy!

Note my corrections above. You could have said "Oh, I made a lot of mistakes!" at the start. Note that there is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you" to anyone. Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful. It saves time for everyone.