I wish he did / would do

[Marika33]

Somebody calls you everyday. You don't want this person to call you so often. Which of these would you more likely say?

I wish he didn't call me every day.
I wish he wouldn't call me every day.

Somebody doesn't call you as often as you want them to. Which of these would you more likely say?

I wish he called me every day.
I wish he would call me every day.

 

[jutfrank]

Somebody calls you everyday. You don't want this person to call you so often. Which of these would you more likely say?

a) I wish he didn't call me every day.
b) I wish he wouldn't call me every day.

They're both good but they're different.

Sentence b) likely expresses annoyance at his behaviour where sentence a) doesn't. This is an extra meaning effect that adding 'would' to such a 'wish'-structure typically brings.

Somebody doesn't call you as often as you want them to. Which of these would you more likely say?

c) I wish he called me every day.
d) I wish he would call me every day.

It's a little bit harder to interpret the extra 'would' with a sense of annoyance here because it appears to be about a non-behaviour (something he's not doing). But still, somebody not doing something can still be annoying, irritating, frustrating, so it's quite possible to use it with that effect. In that case, you can better understand his behaviour as an annoying negative behaviour rather than as a non-behaviour. (Does that make sense?)

 

[Marika33]

Is this expression of annoyance so necessary?

The Cambridge dictionary says (here) that

one of several uses of wish is to talk about hope (they even used the verb "to hope") that something you want will be made real because of good luck (or magical powers). This explanation fits very well with the example "I wish he would call me every day" without any sense of annoyance.

Is there something this cambridge explanation doesn't tell us?

 

[Piscean]

If you are relying on good luck or expectation, then there is far less expectation (if any) that the wish will be fulfilled.

 

[jutfrank]

Is this expression of annoyance so necessary?

I'm not sure what you mean. It isn't 'necessary', no.

Is there something this cambridge explanation doesn't tell us?

Absolutely, yes.

 

[jutfrank]

If you are relying on good luck or expectation, then there is far less expectation (if any) that the wish will be fulfilled.

Yes. I'd push that a little further and say that there is no expectation. (That's where it gets very tricky, and arguable.)

 

[jutfrank]

I'll put it very basically, to give you something to build upon, @Marika33:

hope = the speaker thinks there is a real future possibility of something happening
wish = the speaker is imaging an an alternative universe, an unreal possibility

 

[jutfrank]

one of several uses of wish is to talk about hope (they even used the verb "to hope")

I think that was a mistake.

that something you want will be made real because of good luck (or magical powers).

Yes, i.e., an impossibility.

 

[Marika33]

The Cambridge dictionary says (here) that
View attachment 5650
one of several uses of wish is to talk about hope (they even used the verb "to hope") that something you want will be made real because of good luck (or magical powers).

• I remember blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and wishing that John Lee would be my boyfriend.

In #7, you wrote:

hope = the speaker thinks there is a real future possibility of something happening
wish = the speaker is imaging an an alternative universe, an unreal possibility

Do you really think that John Lee being her boyfriend is an unreal possibility? Is she disabled or is she going to die? - I don't see either in that sentence. For me, everything is possible, but this one especially is.

So now, to me, it's more like a hope (according to your explanation):

• I remember blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and hoping that John Lee would be my boyfriend.

 

[jutfrank]

Do you really think that John Lee being her boyfriend is an unreal possibility?

Yes, it's an unreal possibility. That's why the birthday girl is attempting to incant some magical force.

Is she disabled or is she going to die?

What do you mean? What does this have to do with anything?

I don't see either in that sentence.

Yes, I can see that. That's what I'm trying to make you see.

So now, to me, it's more like a hope (according to your explanation):

• I remember blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and hoping that John Lee would be my boyfriend.

That makes some sense now, because the hope is about a real possibility.

 

[Marika33]

What do you mean? What does this have to do with anything?

I don't understand why the girl would think that John Lee being her boyfriend is an unreal possibility. I assumed maybe she was disabled or going to die. And maybe that's why she thinks they're not meant to be together.

That makes some sense now, because the hope is about a real possibility.

So even if there's still a single chance of them being together, she can only hope, not wish, right?

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't understand why the girl would think that John Lee being her boyfriend is an unreal possibility. I assumed maybe she was disabled or going to die no full stop here and maybe that's why she thinks they're not meant to be together.

Disabled people and people with terminal illnesses don't assume that they can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend. There's certainly no reason for a non-disabled person to think that's the case.

 

[Marika33]

Disabled people and people with terminal illnesses don't assume that they can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend. There's certainly no reason for a non-disabled person to think that's the case.

Then why does the Cambridge Dictionary use this particular example (here)?

Why would she think that this is impossible?

 

[emsr2d2]

Where is there any mention of disability or terminal illness in that example?

Cambridge's example is based on the tradition (in the West, at least) that when someone blows out the candles on their birthday cake, they make a wish. It can be a wish for anything from "Please don't let it rain on Saturday" to "Please can I win the lottery", and would include something like "Please let John Lee decide he wants to be my boyfriend". It's like the secular version of a prayer. We call it "making a wish" but the actual words we use (in our head because these kinds of wishes are always silent) wouldn't include the words "I wish".

 

[Marika33]

Where is there any mention of disability or terminal illness in that example?

That's right. There isn't any. That's why I asked

Why would she think that this is impossible?

Out of #6, #7 and #8, I have learned that "wish" is about an unreal possibility otherwise a native speaker would use "hope".

 

[probus]

What do you mean by "unreal possibility"? It sounds like an oxymoron.

 

[Piscean]

What do you mean by "unreal possibility"? It sounds like an oxymoron.

It's widely used. 'If' is often used to introduce a possible or imagined situation:

If my mother comes next week (real possibility), I'll introduce her to Mark.
If I won the lottery next week (unreal possibility), I'd buy my mother a new house.
If your father were alive (counterfactual/irrealis possibility), he'd be delighted to learn of your triumph.