itosan4
Member
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- English
- Home Country
- Philippines
- Current Location
- Australia
The prompt is "The hardest decision of my life "
Hello again and sorry for being annoying, but please give feedback on what I can do to improve on the INTRODCUTION and also grade it as a year 9 selective school essay. We only get 15 minutes to write and I'm wondering if the introduction is long enough and is the hook good enough. Any feedback is appreciated also in your feedback please say how I can improve or some constructive criticism, thanks.
Decisions, choices or whatever you want to call them play a big role in our everyday lives, from the time when we wake up, to the time when we go to sleep. I remember one time when I had to choose between two donuts, it was the most difficult situation I had to make, until this problem aroused on one sheet of paper, one that no child should ever deal with. Something so big on something so small, I remember all I had to do was to choose, something so basic that I couldn't do.
But before I continue let me start from how this all began.
Hello again and sorry for being annoying, but please give feedback on what I can do to improve on the INTRODCUTION and also grade it as a year 9 selective school essay. We only get 15 minutes to write and I'm wondering if the introduction is long enough and is the hook good enough. Any feedback is appreciated also in your feedback please say how I can improve or some constructive criticism, thanks.
Decisions, choices or whatever you want to call them play a big role in our everyday lives, from the time when we wake up, to the time when we go to sleep. I remember one time when I had to choose between two donuts, it was the most difficult situation I had to make, until this problem aroused on one sheet of paper, one that no child should ever deal with. Something so big on something so small, I remember all I had to do was to choose, something so basic that I couldn't do.
But before I continue let me start from how this all began.
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