[Grammar] Just having the opportunity to talk TO you / talk WITH you?

[Zoli]

Which one of these two are correct and more natural?:

Just having the opportunity to talk to you you is already a big help.
Just having the opportunity to talk with you you is already a big help.

 

[jutfrank]

They're both correct and natural.

I feel that there is (or rather could be) a very subtle difference in meaning.

 

[GoesStation]

American colleagues have told me that 'talk to' suggests to them a rather one-sided situation; 'talk with' is a mutual activity.

Talk to him can be one sided: That's the third time Ron's messed that up this week. I'd better talk to him about it. But it's usually synonymous with talk with. We'd definitely use "with" when the one-sided meaning is likely and it's not what we mean.

 

[jutfrank]

As someone who grew up in a BrE environment, a BrE speaker's use of with instead of to feels to me purposeful. To me it seems that the speaker wants to present a sense of togetherness in the activity. If the idea is simply directed communication of information, then to is more appropriate. That is to say that there should be a special reason to use with instead of to.

I think this explains why some people have expressed the idea of the 'one-sidedness' of to. If an exchange is one-sided, it must have a directedness, and would unlikely be thought of as a shared experience.

I do also think that there is an element of convention in all this, too.

 

[Tdol]

American colleagues have told me that 'talk to' suggests to them a rather one-sided situation; 'talk with' is a mutual activity.

Like most speakers of BrE of my age, I don't feel this difference. I use only 'talk to'.

I don't hear that distinction either. (BrE speaker)

It is one-sided if you're giving someone a talking-to, though.

 

[Yankee]

Depends on the situation/context. I agree with Jutfrank that using "with" 'the speaker wants to present a sense of togetherness' and a more personal tone.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'd be inclined to use "talk to" when "talk" is a verb and "talk with" when "talk" is a noun.

I need to talk to you.
I need to have a little talk with you.

 

[jutfrank]

I'd be inclined to use "talk to" when "talk" is a verb and "talk with" when "talk" is a noun.

I need to talk to you.
I need to have a little talk with you.

I see this as confirming to some extent what I said in post #6. I don't think the grammar is particularly important—the difference is in meaning.

I'm not completely sure of what you imagine the latter sentence to mean but I think the use of have shows that the speaker is thinking of the exchange as an experience.