Leaders and directors in organizations are normally older people. Some people prefer younger ones. To what extent do you agree?

Tarheel

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I have already suggested an alternative to "bare fact". Also, since I have no idea what a "well-proven" experience is I wouldn't use that.
 

Inanceda

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Please find below the corrected version of your essay:

In the modern age, the age of leaders and directors has become a somewhat controversial issue. There are some who strongly prefer older leaders; however, others think otherwise. I partially agree with the idea that older leaders and managers can lead organizations better than younger ones.

Generally speaking, there are two compelling reasons why I wholeheartedly believe that older people can handle organizational problems better. Perhaps the most convincing reason is that they usually have extensive, well-proven, and unparalleled experience. For example, older bosses often display greater empathy when a worker arrives late to work due to family reasons. This stems from the fact that most older leaders are parents themselves and can relate to similar family issues at home. Another justification for this notion is that some mature managers hold postgraduate diplomas. Unlike younger leaders, who typically have a BA or BSc, older individuals are more likely to possess an MBA, PhD, or MA diploma, which can contribute to more effective management in an organization.

Despite these persuasive arguments, there is also a case for the idea that younger leaders can organize companies or organizations better than older ones. Perhaps the most convincing reason for this is that young people generally have greater stamina, which can lead to more productive outcomes. For example, a 30-year-old director can work 12 hours without feeling tired, while a 60-year-old boss may easily feel lightheaded after working for the same duration. Another noteworthy point in favor of this idea is that young leaders are generally more adept at utilizing the internet, which can foster greater creativity and innovation.

In conclusion, after considering both sides of the argument, I would have to say that an organization could benefit from having an older leader and a younger deputy. This combination can harness the wisdom and experience of the older leader while leveraging the energy and innovation brought by the younger counterpart.

Thank you for sharing your essay, and I hope you find the corrections helpful.
Here are some general advice and tips for future essays:
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Remember, practice makes perfect! The more you write and receive feedback, the better you will become at crafting compelling and well-structured essays. Good luck with your future writing endeavors!
 
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Tarheel

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I am guessing that what is meant by "In the modern age" is "In this modern age" or "Nowadays". Is anything needed there? No.

I would like the OP to compare the original with the revision and explain what he has learned.
 

teechar

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@Inanceda: I have edited your post to remove the link to the essay writing service. If you post such a link again, you will get banned!
Note also the correct spelling of "personally".
 
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