Men's jobs raised in 1994, up 11.1 percent from 1984, women's jobs was down 12.6

[majid72]

Hello.

Could you check the following sentence?

Men's jobs raised in 1994, up 11.1 percent from 1984, women's jobs was down 12.6 percent.

Thank you.

 

[teechar]

What do you mean by "men's jobs" and "women's jobs"?

 

[majid72]

What do you mean by "men's jobs" and "women's jobs"?

Men's and women's employment.

 

[Raymott]

"The number of men employed increased 11.1 percent between 1984 and 1994; women's employment was down (dropped) 12.6 percent in the same period."
Men's employment rose (from 'rise'), it didn't raise.

 

[majid72]

Does it sound OK if the original is revised as follows:

- Men's employment rose in 1994, up 11.1 percent from 1984, women's employment was down 12.6 percent in the same period.(I am not sure "in the same period" fits the sentence)

 

[Raymott]

Yes, that's OK, except that you need a semicolon before "women's", or you need to start a new sentence there.