[Essay] Please help me proofread and polish this report; please accept many thanks in advance

[rodgers white]

Hi, there. These days I am teaching my students about how to write a report on something they did in a community. Please help me proofread and polish the following report whose title is "Students' Voluntary Work in a Neighbourhood":


Last weekend, some students took part in an activity organized by the Student Union. They did some voluntary work in a nearby neighbourhood. Once they got there, they divided themselves into small groups to do different jobs. Some cleaned the street corners; some watered the plants; others helped the elderly with their housework.
The activity was much praised by the neighbourhood and the students also enjoyed it. They got to know the society better and learned how to help people around.


Sometimes I just want to use the proper words and make my writing more authentic and cohesive. Thanks to this forum, I have the chance to improve my practical writing. So please accept my thanks in advance.

 

[teechar]

Hi, there. These days I am teaching my students about how to write a report on something they did in/for their community. Please help me proofread and polish the following report whose title is "Students' Voluntary Work in a Nearby Neighbourhood":

A report is a much more substantial and structured text that what you have written. Typically, a report has a table of contents, numbered sections (and sub-sections) and a summary at the start. Your text is more like a recount.

Last weekend, some students took part in an activity organized by the Student Union. They did some voluntary work in a nearby neighbourhood. [STRIKE]Once they got there, they divided[/STRIKE] First, they organized themselves into small groups [STRIKE]to do different[/STRIKE] each of which was allocated certain tasks. [STRIKE]jobs.[/STRIKE] Some cleaned the street corners; some watered the plants; and others helped the elderly residents with their housework.
The activity was much praised by the people in the neighbourhood, and the students also enjoyed it. They got to know the [STRIKE]society[/STRIKE] people better and learned how to help them in various ways. [STRIKE]people around.[/STRIKE]


Sometimes I just want to use the proper words and make my writing more authentic and cohesive. Thanks to this forum, I have the chance to improve my practical writing. So please accept my thanks in advance.

Take a look at the following links to learn more about report writing.

http://library.bcu.ac.uk/learner/writingguides/1.02 Reports.htm

http://www.monash.edu.au/lls/llonline/writing/general/report/1.xml

 

[rodgers white]

Thank you so much for your support. During the Spring Festival, I will spend some time learning how to write a report with the help of these two websites as well as other styles of writing. You are such a helpful friend that I hope I can speak English with you online on Skype one day. I just want to keep working hard on my writing and spoken English in order to be a qualified teacher. Thank you again for your help, my friend.

 

[teechar]

I just want to keep working hard on my [STRIKE]writing[/STRIKE] written and spoken English in order to be a qualified teacher.

Don't you already have any formal qualifications for teaching English?

Thank you again for your help, my friend.

You're welcome, and Happy Chinese Spring Festival.

 

[rodgers white]

Don't you already have any formal qualifications for teaching English?


You're welcome, and Happy Chinese Spring Festival.

I have already had a teacher's qualification certificate, but in reality I feel my English has much room to improve. There is an old saying: Live and learn. As for me, English learning is a life-long process, just like taking chinese medicine. Thanks for your concerning and wish you a happy 2017.

 

[tedmc]

"Concern", not "concerning".
Why is that taking chinese medicine is also a life-long process? I thought you only take medicine when you are sick.

 

[rodgers white]

"Concern", not "concerning".
Why is that taking chinese medicine is also a life-long process? I thought you only take medicine when you are sick.

First, many thanks for your correction! And as for your question, We Chinese often go to see our doctors of traditional Chinese medicine in winter and ask for a good Chinese medicine recipe. Also, it is not necessarily because we are sick but because we just want to keep the balance of "Yin" and "Yang" in our body and improve our health. Actually, Chinese medicine works quite slowly, so we usually use "taking Chinese medicine" as a metaphor for something you need to keep working on for a long time in order to achieve what you want. Maybe, it's just a cultural thing.