They've been loving me all the way by using their means

[Silverobama]

I once thought my parents didn't love me at all. When I was young, they played mahjong almost every night and I had to stay home alone. When I got older, I thought they didn't understand me and they never talked to me. After I left my high school, they said "You'd better die outside". In the past decade, I was always brooding over why they didn't love and why couldn't I was like others who are loved. I then had some mental health issues. Recently, when I was walking with my mom to my apartment, complaining to her I didn't have money to buy what I wanted. The building which my apartment belongs to caught fire and my neighbor's apartment was on fire. Mine was fine. I was talking about insurance with my mom. Then my mom told me she actually bought many insurance for me. She said when I got older I could get a lot of money. I don't need to worry about being short of money and I could live a well-off life. At that moment I suddenly realized that my parents do love me but perhaps they were not loving me as how I imagined they would. I then wrote:

They've been loving me all the way by using their means which I just don't know.

I don't think the sentence is natural at all. Please help me with a better one.

 

[Tarheel]

You're right. That's not natural. Perhaps:

My parents loved me all along -- just not in the way I had wanted them to. Or something like that.

I'm not sure what you mean by "insurance" there. Maybe you're talking about an annuity or something like that.

In one relatively brief sentence in which you quote your mom she seems to be wishing you would die. (It probably didn't come out the way you wanted it to.)

One relatively long "sentence" isn't a sentence at all.

Perhaps: "I don't need to worry about being short of money. I will be well-off."

 

[emsr2d2]

I once thought my parents didn't love me at all. When I was young, they played went out to play mahjong almost every night and I had to stay home alone.

Just saying "they played mahjong" doesn't suggest they left the house to do so. My change does.

When I got older, they never talked to me and I thought they didn't understand me. and they never talked to me.

I've swapped over the halves of your sentence because, in the original, "I thought" was attached to both, leaving "I thought they never talked to me". I don't think that's what you meant.

After I left my high school, they said "You'd better die outside".

I don't know if this is a direct translation but it makes no sense in English.

In the past decade, I was always brooding have constantly brooded over why they didn't love me and why couldn't I wasn't like others who are loved.

I've tried to improve the underlined part but I'm not sure it's actually what you meant. However, the original was ungrammatical.

I then had Later in life, this caused some mental health issues.

Recently, when I was walking with my mom to my apartment, complaining to her I didn't have the/enough money to buy what I wanted.

The apartment building which my apartment belongs to [that] I live in caught fire recently/last week/yesterday.

Apartments don't "belong" to buildings. Note the natural way to say it.

and My neighbor's apartment was on caught fire/was destroyed/was damaged no full stop here but mine was fine.

You already said the whole building caught fire so I'm a bit confused by this section but I've had a go!

Consequently, I was talking about insurance with my mom no full stop here Then my mom and she told me she had actually bought opened many several insurance policies for me.

I have a feeling these aren't called "insurance policies". I've wracked my brains trying to think of the right term but it's not coming to me. A similar thing exists in the UK, in which parents pay money into a policy every month while their child is young, and when it matures the child gets a decent lump sum. I just don't know the name!

She said when I got older I could get a lot of money.

Why did she say just that you "could" get a lot of money? If she set up these policies/accounts for you, and one day they'll mature, then surely you "will" get a lot of money. Therefore, use either "when I got" and "would", or "when I get" and "will".

I won't need to worry about being short of money and I could will be able to live a well-off very comfortable life.

There's no such thing as a "well-off life". We use the adjective "well-off" only to describe people. It's just another way of saying "rich".

At that moment, I suddenly realized that my parents do love me but perhaps they were not loving me as how I imagined they would doing it differently from how I expected.

All this time, they've been loving loved me all the way by using their means which I just don't know in their own way. I just didn't know it.

 

[Tarheel]

@emsr2d2 Wow! You did a lot more work than I did. It makes me seem lazy by comparison.

(If you are rich you are certainly well-off, but I don't think the reverse is necessarily true.)

 

[Silverobama]

@emsr2d2

First of all, thank you so much for your detailed explanation, corrections and all the efforts you've exerted to help me with my English. It helps me a lot with my IELTS tests. (I might take the test twice here though it's expensive. ) IELTS examiners pay very close attention to grammar.

I don't know if this is a direct translation but it makes no sense in English.

It is. More details: my head teacher in high school yelled obscenities at me and I was severely mortified. I decided to leave high school. My parents said "You'd better die outside" when they knew my decision. The meaning of the sentence in quotes is "Since you chose not to go to school, we don't need you in the family, you can just go everywhere you want and if you die, it's okay to us".

I've tried to improve the underlined part but I'm not sure it's actually what you meant. However, the original was ungrammatical.

Again, you've understood me perfectly and done a great job by saying what I was trying to say.

You already said the whole building caught fire so I'm a bit confused by this section but I've had a go!

Hmm, how can I say this? I live in the 17th floor; the apartment number 17-14. My next-door neighbor's apartment (17-13) caught fire because her downstairs neighbor (6-13) caught fire first. She (my next-door neighbor, Xia) was very unlucky, the fire wasn't controlled as soon as possible, Xia's apartment was burned into pieces. My downstairs neighbor (16-14) also saw a crack in his wall. My apartment is fine, only without electricity. The whole building was blocked but not on fire.

If I want to express the idea specifically, it'll be very awkward:

Two apartments of the building apartment where I live caught fire earlier this January.

Don't you think so?

I have a feeling these aren't called "insurance policies". I've wracked my brains trying to think of the right term but it's not coming to me. A similar thing exists in the UK, in which parents pay money into a policy every month while their child is young, and when it matures the child gets a decent lump sum. I just don't know the name!

In Chinese, they're called Baoxian, which means "insurance policies". I think there must be a term there. Thanks a lot for helping me with this.

Why did she say just that you "could" get a lot of money? If she set up these policies/accounts for you, and one day they'll mature, then surely you "will" get a lot of money. Therefore, use either "when I got" and "would", or "when I get" and "will".

I used "could" because I was wondering if I passed away before the age of 60. She said at the age of 60 I could get the moeny. Anyway, it's no longer important. What I'm happy with is that I now know how deeply they love me.

Again! Much appreciated!

 

[Tarheel]

@Silverobama Well, you seem to have me on "Ignore". If that's the case, so be it. In any case, your posts would be much easier to respond to if they were shorter. However, since you are ignoring me anyway, it doesn't matter, does it?

 

[Silverobama]

Tarheel, please don't take things personally. I don't ignore anyone here. I read your posts carefully but I think and I believe I have already told you that I really really really need to take the IELTS test and then I can find a job to make a living and to survive. IELTS tests require student to use British English even though they don't mark the American spelling incorrect. Please don't take it personally, I'm sorry for having upset you. Please also forgive me on seeking help from BrE speakers. I really need a job and need a certificate. Then, I can consult a psychiatrist for my mental health issues.