Unfairness

[hatimhussain]

Please find the mistakes and suggest corrections.


James, being picky about food, always wanted Katherine, his wife, to cook scrumptious food and she normally did so. But to her disappointment, James never praised her for such delectable foods she cooked and always took it for granted. On the other hand, for some reasons when the food was a bit salty or spicy, he would never let go that occasion and criticize Katherine for days which indeed was quite annoying to her.

 

[Tarheel]

James never praised her for her efforts, and when the food was too salty or too spicy for his tastes he would criticize her about it for days on end.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

James was picky about his food and always wanted things a certain way.

You are only disappointed when you expect something and don't get it. (Since he never complimented his wife, she wasn't disappointed when he didn't do it. (Maybe she put poison in his food, but that's another matter. ;-) ))

 

[hatimhussain]

Tarheel, I can't find the "thanks" and "like" button on my page, so I am using a thread to thank, and like you.

 

[Tarheel]

Tarheel, I can't find the "thanks" and "like" buttons on my page, so I am using a post to thank you.

OK.

If you have any questions or want to post a revision of that story, feel free to do either one on this thread.

 

[hatimhussain]

Yes Tarheel, I am rephrasing the story keeping in view the suggestions and corrections made by you.

 

[hatimhussain]

Tarheel, I have partially amended my original story. Please correct, if there is any mistakes.

James, being picky about food, always wanted Katherine, his wife, to cook scrumptious food and she normally did. Katherine always craved if James would have praised her cooking instead of taking it for granted. However, she never dared say a word to James about it. On the other hand, for some reasons when the food was too salty or too spicy, James would never let go that occasion and criticize Katherine for days on end which indeed was quite annoying to her.

 

[tedmc]

I would write:

Katherine always craved/yearned for James to praise her cooking instead of taking it for granted.

 

[hatimhussain]

Yes, Tarheel again you have emphasized for shorter and simpler writing as you have been doing so while correcting my writing. Thankyou.

 

[Tarheel]

That wasn't me. That was Ted.

You do indeed need to write shorter, simpler sentences.

Perhaps:

She worked hard to prepare good, tasty food for him, and she hoped for some words of praise from him, but she never heard them.

OK, while that one isn't all that short, it's composed of three short sentences. (Notice what I didn't need to say.)

 

[Tarheel]

Tarheel, I have partially amended my original story. Please correct[STRIKE], if there is[/STRIKE] any mistakes.

James, being picky about food, always wanted Katherine, his wife, to cook scrumptious food and she normally did. Katherine always craved if James would have praised her cooking instead of taking it for granted. However, she never dared say a word to James about it. On the other hand, for some reasons when the food was too salty or too spicy, James would never let go that occasion and criticize Katherine for days on end which indeed was quite annoying to her.

The first sentence is the same as the original. :-|

The second sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. Perhaps:

Katherine always hoped James would praise her cooking instead of taking it for granted, but he never did.

There's a whole story in that next sentence. ("However, she never dared to say a word [to] James about it.") However, I would leave it out as it doesn't fit in that paragraph. (It might except for the next sentence.)

The last sentence has way too many words.
:-|