What do I need to improve to get to the next level?

[Bad English Guy]

I got this exercise from writeandimprove.com. I am currently writing at b2 level, what should I improve to get to the next level?
I wish to get a simple list of all the biggest issues that I have. No need to correct punctuations, typos and that other stuff that I can fix with Grammarly and other writing tools.

I am dreaming to start blogging on Medium.com. Any feedback is welcome that will help me to succeed.

Here is a description of the task:

A proposal: City life​

The principal at the college in the UK that you attend is considering whether to set up a student exchange programme with another college overseas. You have decided to write a proposal for the principal recommending a college from your country as a partner in the exchange programme. In your proposal, you should justify the suitability of the college in your country and explain how an exchange programme with it would benefit both of the colleges and their students.

Here is my writing:

Every time I talk with foreigners and when I ask if they know my home country, Finland, they always say yes, because of the best education system in the world. That's true, we really have the smartest people in the world.
This is a great opportunity to receive high-level, educated students to bring knowledge from the most successful countries. Did you know the first SMS message has been sent in Finland? Probably not, but that happened, with the Nokia phone.

Our technology is well-known globally. By exchanging students with our best college in the country would be a life-changing opportunity for our young future professionals. Finns are known to be polite, calm, and rational people who really know what they are knowing. Many Finnish students have stayed in the UK and brought in huge amounts of tax money.

By giving a possibility to our college you can be sure to receive trustful, intelligent students with unlimited motivation and burning desire to give all their best to make our student community strong and able to achieve higher than ever before. No need to worry. Finnish students don't eat surrströmming like Swedes, after we leave, college dorms will still stay habitable. Our Finnish college is definitely the best choice. You won't regret it.
But I still have only one request before you make a decision, don't make them eat British food; it is terrible.

 

[emsr2d2]

No need to correct punctuations, typos and that other stuff that I can fix with Grammarly and other writing tools.

Welcome to the forum.

There's a very good chance that one of us will make all those corrections. Remember that there are hundreds of members on this forum, all of whom benefit from seeing corrections to other people's posts.

I'm really not sure that criticising other nationalities' habits and cuisine is appropriate.

 

[Bad English Guy]

There's a very good chance that one of us will make all those corrections.

I don't need corrections, just some feedback on my main mistakes. Did I break some grammar rules multiple times, is a there better way to say things,s and so on. I am not trying to achieve perfection or complex sentence structures, just to create readable and error-free text.

I'm really not sure that criticising other nationalities' habits and cuisine is appropriate.

I agree 100% Gordon Ramsay - Traditional Finnish food

 

[5jj]

The biggest issue is not grammatical. It's that you haven't addressed the task:

You have decided to write a proposal for the principal recommending a college from your country as a partner in the exchange programme. In your proposal, you should justify the suitability of the college in your country and explain how an exchange programme with it would benefit both of the colleges and their students.

 

[Tdol]

Why would they eat British food in Finland? I would remove that sentence.