Thanks Charlie. I didn't mean that. I wanted you to rewrite it totally in your own way not to just correct the errors.
I would really appreciate it if you rewrite the full email without removing any part of it. Just for my learning.
I removed parts of it for reasons:
- The phrase "am with HR" doesn't make sense.
- The phrase "since you postponed your decision in my application until you" is wordy and not needed.
- The phrase that begins "believe that your decision and ongong support are still needed . . . ." has two problems:
1. He knows that.
2. He has a human resources department so that he doesn't have to deal with job applicants, including you. So it's better to respect that and not to mention human resources. Your letter should simply (a) thank him for his encouragement and (b) let him know that you still want there.
Others here might have different opinions. Those are mine, and that's what I gave you in the corrected version. I'm happy to make corrections, but I don't write letters or papers for students. That wouldn't teach you anything, right?
And an oops: I misspelled
appreciate in the letter's last line.