which is a better thesis statement and why?

[nuclearegg69]

v1: Study skills, such as effective note-taking, the SQ3R method, and time management, and techniques such as mnemonic devices and flashcards, can help students achieve their objectives in their classes.

v2: Students can achieve their objectives in their classes with effective study skills, such as effective note-taking, the SQ3R method, and time management, and techniques such as mnemonic devices and flashcards.


What i can observe:
in v1
bad: the subject is very long until we come to the action verb 'help', dont know if this is a problem.
good: 'study skills' is the focus being the subject, and it is also the focus of the essay

 

[jutfrank]

Neither sounds sound like a thesis statement. It sounds like a piece of advice to teachers.

bad: the subject is very long until we come to the action verb 'help', dont know if this is a problem.

No, it isn't a problem.

good: 'study skills' is the focus being the subject, and it is also the focus of the essay

So is this your own sentence? What's the essay question?

The sentence has two subjects, not one. Study skills and techniques. Both of these things can help students. That's what you're saying.

 

[nuclearegg69]

Neither sounds sound like a thesis statement.

how can i reform it then? remove 'can' for example, so 'help students' directly?

No, it isn't a problem.

okay thanks

So is this your own sentence?

yes, i am just writing what i can observe about both.

What's the essay question?

reform the thesis statement of the following essay:

"Many students dread them, but tests are an integral part of the educational experience. To be prepared for the various exams they must endure over the years of their education, students must develop study skills that help them learn a range of new academic materials efficiently yet with maximum comprehension . A wide variety of study skills and techniques can aid students as they achieve their objectives in all of their classes" [1]

the body talks about those: effective note-taking, the SQ3R method, and time management, mnemonic devices and flashcards

i thought the thesis wasn't specific enough and that's why i outlined the skills/techniques mentioned in the thesis.

the essay is not argumentative per se, it is just providing information about the elements mentioned above and how they can help. i think it is expository.

Reference:
[1] Folse, K. S., & Pugh, T. (2020). Great Writing 5: From great essays to research. Cengage Learning.

 

[jutfrank]

I don't fully understand what you're trying to do or what you're asking us.

The aim of this activity is to write a conclusion paragraph. You're doing Activity 16, from p.25, right? Where does it ask you to "Reform the thesis statement"? Give me the page number.

 

[emsr2d2]

How can I reform it then? Can I remove 'can', for example, so and say 'help students' directly?

okay OK/Okay, thanks.

Yes, I am just writing about what I can observe about both.

Reform the thesis statement of the following essay:
"Many students dread them, but tests are an integral part of the educational experience. To be prepared for the various exams they must endure over the years of their education, students must develop study skills that help them learn a range of new academic materials efficiently yet with maximum comprehension . A wide variety of study skills and techniques can aid students as they achieve their objectives in all of their classes" [1]

The body talks about those the following: effective note-taking, the SQ3R method, and time management, mnemonic devices and flashcards.

I thought the thesis wasn't specific enough and that's why I outlined the skills/techniques mentioned in the thesis.

The essay is not argumentative per se,; it is just providing information about the elements mentioned above and how they can help. I think it is expository.

Reference: [1] Folse, K. S., & Pugh, T. (2020). Great Writing 5: From Great Essays to Research. Cengage Learning.

Please look carefully at the corrections above. You must capitalise the word "I" (first person singular pronoun) every time you write it. You must also write complete sentences. It's going to become very tiresome for us to have to correct these very basic mistakes in all your posts.

 

[nuclearegg69]

I don't fully understand what you're trying to do or what you're asking us.

The aim of this activity is to write a conclusion paragraph. You're doing Activity 16, from p.25, right? Where does it ask you to "Reform the thesis statement"? Give me the page number.

I am doing Activity 9.4 , p.16.
I am asking which of the two versions I provided is a better thesis statement.

 

[jutfrank]

Okay, now I understand.

Let's go back to Activity 8.2. Look again at the introduction paragraph. Which of those three sentences is the thesis statement? Remember that thesis statements often express opinions, so they typically include modal verbs like 'should' and 'must'.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Students must learn study skills that help them learn things efficiently and with maximum comprehension.

If you know that then you should also know that using too many words in your explanation is not helpful.

I would assume -- perhaps wrongly -- that they wouldn't have even gotten to college in the first place if they didn't have some pretty decent study habits.

 

[nuclearegg69]

Okay, now I understand.

Let's go back to Activity 8.2. Look again at the introduction paragraph. Which of those three sentences is the thesis statement? Remember that thesis statements often express opinions, so they typically include modal verbs like 'should' and 'must'.

Oh, I totally overlooked that. Thanks for pointing it out. Then the thesis must be as @Tarheel stated.