Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone & Spice Up Your Speeches

Humour is subjective. I tired of this book before I got to page 60, without a single chuckle.
The book has gone into the bin because I did not want anybody to find it in my library and risk them judging my sense of humour by this volume. American humour at its slickest is very clever. This book is not clever!

Whether you intend to give speeches or would just like to brighten your day, you'll enjoy this book.

I fondly remembered a remark made by famous hypnotist, Dr. Milton Erickson, that "within every fat person, there is a thin person waiting to be excavated", when I read the following one-liner:

"Inside of me there is a thin person trying to get out, but I can usually sedate him with five or six doughnuts."

Here are few more examples from this book:

"Always be on the lookout for new ideas. Why, the guy who invented the spray paint got the ideas when he sneezed while he was drinking the tomato juice."

* * *

Kid: "When I grow up, I want to be a philanthropist. They always seem to have lots of money."

* * *

Do you know what doctors write to pharmacists in Latin on those prescription pads? "I got mine, now you get yours."

* * *

"I always hold hands with my wife. If I let it go, she shops."

* * *

Teacher: "Who's happier: A man with five million dollars or a man with five children?"

Student: "The man with five million."

Teacher: "Why?"

Student: "Because the man with five million always wants more."