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First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You

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By: Ann Phd Demarais and Valerie Phd White
(27 customer reviews)
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EDITORIAL REVIEW

What kind of first impression do you make? A first impression is the most important impression you’ll ever make—and you get only one chance to make it. Business deals can be made or broken, first dates become second dates or not, friendships are created or fail to form; everything hinges on that all-important initial encounter. And yet most of us don’t know how we’re really seen by others. Many of us don’t know how to make a good impression.

Wouldn’t you like others to see you as confident, interesting, attractive, and sincere? Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., consultants to many Fortune 100 companies as well as creators of First Impressions, Inc., a New York–based dating and consulting firm, offer you the keys to putting your best self forward in any new situation, whether you want to strike up a conversation at a party or are meeting a blind date or a new business client.

You’ll learn to see yourself as others see you, and how to tweak your style to create the impression that reflects the real you. Breaking down a successful first impression into its seven fundamentals, the authors show you how to master these principles so that you can make the best first impression. They also show how to avoid common misunderstandings that leave others with a bad impression, how to reveal the four universal social gifts, and they outline practical steps you can take to enhance your personal charm.

Informative and filled with enlightening research studies, do-it-yourself checklist reviews, and dozens of helpful case histories, First Impressions is a fun, groundbreaking, and long-overdue guide to the most important moment of virtually any relationship: the first.


From the Hardcover edition.

PRODUCT DETAILS

Publisher: Bantam
Pub. Date: 29th March 2005
Catalog: Book
Media: Paperback
Number Of Pages: 256
Ean: 9780553382013
Isbn: 0553382012

ABOUT THIS BOOK

USER REVIEWS

Very insightful book.
~ Written on Jan 1, 2008. out of users found this review helpful.

Love this book. Very insightful and helpful. Eye opening, really. Have been putting the principles listed in this book into practice and so far so good. Can be life changing, if you're serious.

Brilliant and simple
~ Written on Jul 17, 2007. 5 out of 5 users found this review helpful.

At first glance, this book seems pretty simplistic--make good eye contact, don't talk too much, choose topics appropriate for the situation--but this book is far more valuable than the elementary advice would suggest. First, almost everyone needs these reminders now and then. More importantly, the authors are able to explain vague but universal concepts in an exceptionally clear way. For example, what is the definition of "nice" or how would you define "sex appeal"? This book defines those words and more, making it extremely insightful in the study of personal interactions, from first impressions and beyond.

I found it boring and useless...
~ Written on Jul 12, 2007. out of 8 users found this review helpful.

I didn't get all the way through or even more than partially through, it just bored me too much in the beginning and seemed to just state common sense. I didn't read the ratings but most people (who I'm assuming read it all the way through) seemed to really like it so I suggest reading their reviews and seeing what I may have missed later on in the book.

Very Well Written Book
~ Written on Nov 12, 2006. 6 out of 7 users found this review helpful.

I bought this book after listening to Dr. Demarais on NPR. This is a very well written and easy to read book with good concepts that you need to put into practice. Therefore, I wish the authors come out with an abridged audio version to listen to again and again because you need to get these ideas ingrained inside you and become second nature. Even though this book is geared towards creating impressions on a date, I highly recommend this book to anyone whose job involves dealing with people.

First Impressions Demystified
~ Written on Oct 16, 2006. 10 out of 13 users found this review helpful.

Go ahead and buy this book, and act on the authors advice, and watch how subtle changes in first impressions can make a big difference. Probably the best among us will find something to learn to make it worthwhile reading.

That said, the authors do overstate their advice. First impressions have an important part in social encounters, but they don't determine indefinitly how others perceive you. For example, in one story the authors describe one of their clients who took some time to warm up during a simulated date, but was otherwise socially adept. But they explain, by then it was "too late" to make a positive impression. In reality, the chances are that intelligent people from all walks of life can understand that it is natural for someone to take some time to open up to someone they meet for the first time, and won't hold you to it. Just think about the people in your life; probably quite a few of them didn't make a great impression on you the first time you met them, and you probably didn't either.

But of course, the authors have built a large consulting business purely focused on training their clients to make good first impressions. You wouldn't expect them to downplay its importance.

Overall, its a recommended read, as long as you keep in mind that first impressions are not a substitute for a lack of other much more important social skills you will need for building meaningful relationships.

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